My personal and inner lives have been alight with violent realization. I know this has been reflected in the sprawling tone of many of my recent posts. I want to apologize, but I won't. My practice is often a condensation of my life, extremes of experience projected on one another, one side a reflection of the other, my reactions being more or less the same. They are not separate, but all is not yoga. Nothing brings out the worst in someone like a lover. And yet, somehow, even as I watch things fall apart, I feel energized. I can observe my pain; I can feel it's source and where it sits in my body and know that only experience breeds wisdom enough to transcend experience. But that's not what this post is about.
After an emotionally charged day, marinating in this ugliness, I both craved and feared my practice. I went back to teacher T's room for afternoon Mysore, as is now the Friday custom. It was very warm and I was dripping sweat after just a few Suryas. I had noticed the breath was agitated during meditation earlier in the day, so I was not surprised when this carried on in my practice. The standing sequence was a little more heated than usual. The front wall of the room is one huge mirror, which I find terribly distracting, especially during the first part of my practice, before I get used to my own image hovering there in front of me. I regained my rhythm once I came to the seated sequence. From this point on, I honed in and the practice flowed. Downward-facing forward folds solved the problem. And boy, did I sweat.
In an earlier post this week, patrick suggested in the comments that it might get interesting practicing with 2 or 3 different teachers, as I am currently doing, if they all tell me something different. Well, considering that I don't think they're aware that I'm attending the other's classes, they seem to be right on track with one another. I see S twice a week and T only on Fridays. T gave me the first two postures of 2nd series today. S told me on Wednesday that we'd start 2nd the next time I work with her, which will be Monday. So, yeah, I'm ready.
Pasasana isn't so fun for someone with tight shoulders, short achilles, and weak ankles (that's me!), but that's probably a sign that the pose will do me some good. Krounchasana doesn't feel so nice on my busted knee so I'll probably be sitting up on the dictionary when I practice at home to alleviate the crank. (Why don't I just buy a pair of blocks already?)
Drop-backs and stand-ups went really well. It was the first time I've done either in T's room without her assistance, so we shared a moment of excitement when I nailed a stand-up attempt without budging my feet. She's done a lot to help me with this backbending stuff. Her "lead with the head" suggestion for my drop-backs seems to have made all the difference in the softness of my landing by initially creating even more bend in the upper back. She's been very encouraging and I love her for it.
I'm finding this week that Primary is no longer the long haul it once seemed to be. My energy has easily sustained me throughout the entire series with ease, even on these very tiring, conflict-ridden days.