One needn't look far to find the basis of my argument. It's right there in the second sutra: "Yoga is the suspension of the fluctuations of the mind (Yoga Sutra I.2)." Beyond that, I know it from experience. I have, many times in my life, practiced asana without the yoga to address discomfort in the body. I think it's safe to say I'm not the only one. Asana is what draws people to the yoga, asana prepares the mind; as my teacher says, "asana makes the ground fertile" for the real yoga to take place, but asana in itself, without the breath, without the meditation, is just exercise. Just gymnastics.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Exercise is good. Regardless of intention, be it noble or vain, asana is healthy and has the potential to make this world a better place. It draws us in with the promise of a better body, reduced pain, or stress release. Sometimes, it has a way of opening the mind in reciprocation to the body. But not always. And that's okay, but it isn't yoga.
Now, I would never point a finger and say that this person or that person is or is not doing yoga because how would I know? It is neither my place nor is it in my capacity to judge the intention behind another's practice. But that doesn't change the truth. Yoga is an internal practice. Yoga is a breathing practice. Yoga is a devotional practice. What it IS NOT is a bunch of people checking their iPhones between asanas and sweating on each other while the instructor screams an arbitrary flow over classic rock.
I admit that I have been dealing with a high degree of inner conflict over my identification as a "yoga teacher," particularly in a position which had me instructing students in a style of asana that I neither practice nor believe in. Hypocritical of me, I know. I justified the situation to myself for many months by holding on to the idea that flow yoga is derived from Ashtanga, that somehow there remained a solid link, a lineage, a strategy, a system, but I was wrong. I am relieved to have arrived at a place of reconciliation with my principles.
And now the metamorphosis is complete. I have become the crusty old Ashtangi, driven further and further into my lonely little niche. And, damn it, I stand by this system and what I know to be true: asana is the playground, meditation is the practice.
Sad! I'll miss you. Please make sure to update about where you go from here!
ReplyDeleteRespect!!!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like things have come full circle then. I respect you for sticking up for your views and the Ashtanga system.
ReplyDeletei also have great respect for you for standing up for what you believe in. it sucks that you got fired, and for such ridiculous reasons. Hopefully this will allow you to find a studio or teaching experience that will be a better fit for you. :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry! I'm sure they've lost a great teacher and that new doors will open for you shortly. With every ending, a new beginning. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHear, hear. I hope this is just a beautiful beginning that means life has something even better in store for you. Feeling ambushed like that must have been terrible. Sure, the yoga is damn good, it's what's around it that's sometimes complicated, huh...
ReplyDeleteI hope your weekend offers rest and inspiration :-)
that they wouldn't want you to be integrating breath and mind/body work into a practice is a good reason for you to no longer serve them.
ReplyDeleteWhile i've not yet personally seen it, i can tell you teach an authentic 'damn good yoga'. That will resonate for many people in many places. Transitions can be tough, but i'm sure you'll end up in a better situation...:)
Call me a lost astangi since I've been "dabbling" in vinyasa yoga for about a month now. Just to let you know, I did enjoy the "always different" sequences but after a while, my body, mind and spirit did not get it. Pardon to others, but that's how I honestly felt. I did not find the deep peace and soulful well-being that resonates in my whole person after doing the Primary Series. I'm happy to say that I'm totally back to Ashtanga with renewed vigor and enthusiasm.
ReplyDeleteWhat it IS NOT is a bunch of people checking their iPhones between asanas and sweating on each other while the instructor screams out an arbitrary flow over classic rock.
ReplyDeleteAhahahaha - best description of what yoga isn't I have ever heard.
And I totally agree. I'm not an Astangi as you know but I am a rather devoted practitioner and teacher of Viniyoga. Over the years I have had various internal turmoils when teaching at studios and gyms and been in similar situations myself. This has all ended in me being entirely my own boss so I can teach what comes from my heat and my gut.
Well done for speaking up for what you believe and this can only be the path to much greater things.
Thanks to all for the supportive comments. I really do feel that what's happened is the right thing for everyone involved, and I want to make clear that, while it may sound this way, I am not taking an Ashtanga vs. All Others stance here. After much reflection, I just think it's important to have a lineage, a tradition, and a teacher holding the torch at the origin of a practice. It doesn't have to be Ashtanga, but it does have to be some kind of system or method with a higher purpose in mind.
ReplyDelete"asana is the playground, meditation is the practice."
ReplyDeleteYes! I've always heard teachers say things similar to that, but this year I've actually started to learn it. Good for you, clearly that isn't the right studio for you to teach in...maybe you could open your own ;-)
Took me years to get to the point you are at after just months --- forcing a link btn Astanga & Flow and the mixer-up-feel-good worth. It's all well and good, but not a true practice, not an internal experience. Astanga, especially Mysore style, is a true practice and a mature practice. It is for everyone, when done with care, and has all the elements that 'yoga' delivers. But sadly, other forms delivery (verbally spoon feeding) just makes it easy. It is hard for the culture at large to be ok listening to 'self'. All the best to you. I love what you write
ReplyDeletehi megan.
ReplyDeletei totally relate. i practice ashtanga but teach a lot of vinyasa classes right now.... although my vinyasa classes are very based in ashtanga sometimes it feels wrong for me to teach something different from my own practice. definitely poses some good questions for me to ponder.
just discovered your blog and i really dig it.
i'm adding you to my blogroll at http://athayoganusasanam.wordpress.com/
blessings,
f.
Hello Megan,
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you. I have great respect for your courage to stand up for your beliefs. I am sure that something great is opening up for you even as we speak :-)
Bravo to you!! I have been in the same position recently. My class at a local fitness class was cancelled because I don't teach FLOW yoga. I teach classical hatha yoga with breathing exercises and everything. Apparently I am a bit too traditional for those who like the physical more than the mental. Oh well!!! I won't stop.
ReplyDeletehave just started reading your blog and I dig it...and welcome to the club....I've been fired by two studios: once because I got tired of the alcoholic studio owner walking into my classes drunk and I called her out on it; two, because the young owner (about 20+ years younger) believed some bs some students told her about me, that I was trying to "steal" students. not true, because the studio was closing anyway and I had told people where I was going to be teaching. needless to say, I no longer teach in studios other than workshops. you're better off!
ReplyDeleteHi Megan,
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. Have never commented before, so id just like to say now that your passion for yoga and writing about it has inspired me to get on the mat many times when I didn't feel like it. Good on you for everything you do and the light that you shine for others!
I too teach yoga, but I'm lucky enough to have my own little studio so I do what I want - which constantly changes. I basically teach ashtanga, but call it vinyasa flow as I've never been to Mysore and have no plans to get there and even attempt the whole authorized route. Just wondering what your thoughts are for next? Do you forge ahead teaching a system you know works but has a lot of kinda politics stuff going on with teaching without Sharath's approval? Or go with something else? I'm sure I'm asking you q's like this way too soon - and I hope that doesn't upset you!! By the way it sounds as if those teachers are too dumb to see they've discarded a real gem of a teacher and you'll no doubt be sorely missed by your students there. Smells a bit of tall poppy syndrome and others wanting to cut you down to their size. Everything does happen exactly as its meant to though and there are clearly bigger and more exciting things ahead for you. Namaste gorgeous girl xxx
Sorry you got fired Meagan, how ridiculous, hope you find somewhere more enlightened to teach and share your obvious talents and integrity.
ReplyDeleteOf course I would perhaps have got fired from an ashtanga shala too for arguing that Ashtanga is just asana also and from elsewhere for disagreeing with your good self that that yoga is a breathing practice (in the krishnamacharya tradition of asana perhaps that doesn't mean that yoga per se is) and for disagreeing too with the commonly held belief that yoga is a devotional practice (It's Samkhya, epistemic not theistic - devotional was added later it seems).
Saying what yoga is or isn't is a minefield, how foolish that they weren't open to reflection and questioning their own views on what is and isn't..... now that IS yoga.
Meant to add this line
ReplyDeleteI think you were right the first time, yoga is a meditational practice, everything else is periphery...in my view.
Hey Maegan, so sorry you were made to feel bad for speaking your truth. Ya know, I have often seen the studio owners"looking the part of yogis and yoginis" with their fake exteriors who have no clue about the true meaning of yoga, it's all about the business. Good for you girl! You busted open a huge door, now the universe will answer! Good luck:)
ReplyDeleteI'm sad to hear about this, but, open yourself to the new possibilities that will come. I'm lucky enough to live in a place that has a lot of yoga studios for a small city and all or most of them emphasize inner yoga as an essential part of asana practica. As anyone who has studied the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali knows, he only mentions asana once: it is defined as sitting comfortably. Or, as David Williams said, it is being comfortable in one position. That's all asana practice is. Without the inner yoga, without the breath and the bandhas, there is no yoga. If you get a chance, take a workshop with David Williams. He was just here in Vermont a couple of weeks ago. I got a lot of things out of that workshop, one of them was that prana is what it is all about. The other is just being around Williams who has a really mellow, accepting attitude, "go with the feel good" was one of his mottoes, knowing that "the feel good" would mean daily ashtanga practice. One thing that stuck with me was, "It isn't happening to you, it is happening for you." I remember that as I deal with the inescapable BS at my job everyday. It has become my mantra. Feel free to use it.
ReplyDeleteGrimmly - As always, you've made me think. But isn't it true that the pranayama and a sense of devotion are tools of the meditation? Seems to me that the breath and purpose of our practice are tools we employ to facilitate withdrawal from the senses and focus of the mind.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm confusing devotion with surrender (a trigger word of yours, as I recall). Ishvara pranidhana? Are we talking about ashtanga yoga here? As in, the eight limbs?
ReplyDeleteJohn - I would LOVE to study with David Williams. I hear so many absolute gems attributed to him, thanks for adding to the list. Swenson quotes him all the time. I wonder when he'll pass through Texas again?
ReplyDeleteI was talking about Jois ashtanga as being 'just' asana, Sharath has himself come out and said it's breath with sound not ujjaii, not pranayama. Personally I've always found Jois Ashtanga as suiting a meditative approach in the sense of a way of working on concentration, one pointedness, the gaze, the breath with sound, bandhas all lend themselves to that. But of course gym yoga can be meditative, reflective too, as you say it comes down to attention, how you choose to approach your asana.
ReplyDeleteI'm contrasting it with Vinyasa Krama of course which is an integrative practice, you do your asana followed by pranayama, pratyahara and meditation and you do that from when you first begin to practice that style. Not saying one is better than the other, as you know I love and practice both, but VK is perhaps more integrative of the other limbs from the start (probably why it's not so popular).
My point about devotion was that Yoga way back when, was an extension of Samkhya philosophy and was non theistic so non devotional. At some time the ishvara pranidhana sutra seems to have made it's way into Patanajali's Sutras. IF it was there from the beginning and it's a big IF then it was just one meditative option if you were religiously inclined.
Krishnamacharya and Jois were quite...very devotional but that doesn't mean that yoga HAS to be practiced that way or that devotion... or surrender has to be or necessarily should be a part of ones practice.
Of course this is just one view and the devotional aspect has been part of yoga for the last six to eight hundred years or so.
Either way... you shouldn't have been fired.
I see. And I agree that the devotional element is non-essential as a tool of the meditation, the meditation itself being the essential element, in my humble opinion. It's funny, though, the way that Swenson still teaches ashtanga yoga as an integrative practice, with chanting, pranayama (introduced when one has reached a certain capacity in asana), and meditation. But it's to be expected, I suppose, that Ashtanga in Mysore follow the natural course of any "traditional" practice: the less popular, less practical points tend to fall away.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I was fired for the subtleties of this discussion. I was fired for butting heads against the boss. Plain and simple.
That should have been ' as you say it comes down to intention' not attention oops.
ReplyDeleteInteresting what you say about Swenson teaching a more integrative practice. I still find it hard to practice pranayama and meditation after a hot sweaty ashtanga practice and can't get used to doing pranayama before practice. I can't see how it would work in Mysore, as soon as you finish you head off to another room for your finishing, not really the time and space to settle down to a good twenty to forty minutes of pranayama let alone meditation. And besides pranyama is not perhaps to everyones taste, I love it it but iIcan see how many would find it boring and tedious as hell
I agree that it's difficult to sit up from Savasana and head right into pranayama after an ashtanga practice. Ideally, I think one would rest, bathe, and then begin pranayama, followed by meditation. But that's assuming one has half the day set aside for practice -- which I just so happen to have all of a sudden. Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteI finished reading "Krishnamacharya: His Life and Teachings" last night and chuckled at an incident in which he was fired from a job for beginning and ending his lessons with a chant. The teacher said to his employer, "Very well. I will have more time for my own practice." That's exactly how I felt!
Please don't get discouraged and follow your path.
ReplyDeleteSincerely
Louis
oy Megan, sincere bummer. My schedule never matched up well with your classes, but I always enjoyed the ones I was able to make and I love your discipline, blog, and general air about you. I'm sincerely bummed, and I hope we run into each other (socially, to practice, to take from you!) very soon.
ReplyDeleteWow! What an incredible story. Thank you so much for being brave enough to share it and for standing by your opinions with such courage and honesty. THAT is yoga. Glad to have found you online.
ReplyDeleteWell done! :)
ReplyDeleteI was researching something and stumbled upon your post. Wow, you remind me a bit of myself. But you have more courage. I am constantly facing the options of speaking my mind and heart or doing what I think someone (boss or other teachers) want to do or hear. As a relatively "new" instructor, I feel I have to play the game until I achieve more confidence and gravitas. I admire you for having the ability to stand by your convictions. I feel it was unfair to fire you but my gut feeling was that there may have been another reason but this is the reason they chose to tell you, I am finding the more I learn about the Yoga community, the more I realize it is filled with ego driven, self centered people who are not acting with Yogic intentions,.
ReplyDeleteYoga isn't something you do, its a way of being and of relating to ourselves and others.
But I find you to be highly aware and able to resonate with others. Sounds like you need your own studio or like minded spirits.
Looking forward to hearing about future experiences.
Really miss your classes, but more than pleased you stuck with what you know to be true. Please let us know when you're teaching again!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Yoga can be what you make of it. It can be different for everyone. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete