Primary Friday: Be Good, Feel Good

No Primary today.  My Ashtanga week is all screwed up.  With the full school schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm experimenting with a five-day practice week, with perhaps a light, minimal practice of the Surya and finishing and/or meditation on school-day evenings before I go out with the dogs.

Regrettably, the meditation practice has been sparse of late.  I really miss it, and know exactly why it's been set aside.  I've not been liking myself very much.  In many ways, I've watched myself repeatedly act against my better judgment, let my rituals, my practice, and my body unravel before my eyes.  I've allowed a harshness in my thoughts and actions and felt that pitta fire burn.  To sit would be to face and recognize these behaviors for what they are.  Meditation forced me to quit cigarettes.  Meditation forced me to quit coffee.  It made the physical and psychological effects of my choices crystal clear.  And, really, these are just the minor things.  The depth of awareness and the clarity of mind that comes with regular meditation is potent.

A daily morning practice would be ideal, and entirely doable.  I will start tomorrow.  First thing.

This evening's asana practice was not Primary, as I mentioned.  Not even Ashtanga.  I let loose with a fast-paced Vinyasa practice -- plenty of long holds, but also powerful dynamic movement.  Topped it off with lots of backbends, dropbacks, and handstands, and now I'm all jazzed up for the night.

I have reined in my diet and been practicing with more regularity the past couple of weeks.  Wednesday, after Intermediate, I walked away from practice feeling empty in the best possible way, as if every last bit of stale inertia had been squeezed out onto the mat.  Toward the end of practice, I had what now seems like an obvious realization, a truth I've known but not acted in accordance with in some time:  the practice feels good when I treat my body right.  The opposite is also true.  Eating heavily, sleeping erratically, and making sacrifices in the practice makes the practice hard.  Duh, right?

Duh, indeed.

Tomorrow is the full moon.  I have soared on the upswing of the cycle, and am looking forward to its culmination tomorrow night.  We are expecting heavy storms.  The dogs and I may not have our walk.

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