Winter Wedding

Winter is the time for pain.  While the summer months are free and easy, every year in late December, the wreckage of every injury I've ever had grows tight, weak, or inflamed.  My knees ache, my wrists click, and my shoulders stiffen and twinge.  This suffering humbles me, it quiets me, it puts me back into my body.  Winter is the time for coming home.

I began this blog five years ago, almost to the day.  Though I have written less over the past two years, it is in this archived pile that the origins and heart of my practice have remained.  Occasionally, I'll get a soulful email from a reader or a new comment on a years-old post, and be inspired to share with you, my darling friends and readers, once again.  But time has been so fleeting, and busyness the common mode.  However, now that school is over and I have finished my degree, I hope to reinvest my time in writing.  Writing is the key.  So much has happened in the last two years, too much and too uninteresting to tell, but in the spirit of transparency and friendship, I will summarize as briefly as I can.

I went back to school.  I studied English and Philosophy.  I graduated with a 4.0.  I met my partner.  In him, I found the sweetness I have needed.  He is an essential source of wisdom and support.  I have been healing.  I have been teaching.  My students are my inspiration.  Their awesome strength and beauty strikes me speechless every day.  I have done my practice.  It has served me.  I have matured beyond feeling the Ashtanga method as a burden.  This has freed more time and energy for things that really matter.  As a result, my life has flowered.  I see opportunities in all directions.  I am grounded, I am hopeful, and I am largely unafraid.

But winter is far from over.  This weekend, I will fly home to meet my family and attend my sister's wedding.  I will breathe deeply all the way there, and all the way back.  In between the travel, I will surely sob and gasp, and watch the young ones promise their lives to one another as the early sunset of these shortest days, framed by wall-to-ceiling windows, falls just beyond the lovers' eager smiles.  I will reflect on my first love and feel all the pain and disappointment, and hope they learn their lessons far more gently than I did.  There is a certain darkness to winter weddings.  One feels stiff and heavy, and hopes the brightness in the lovers' eyes will last well into spring.

Photo credit: Janelle Elise Photography

1 comment:

  1. Winter brings mixed emotions and I know some people who also associate this season with gloom. But cheer up and don't dwell on the feeling because this too shall pass to make way for happier days. :)