Damn Good Yoga

Asana of the Week: Utkatasana

2012-02-13T06:15:00.000-06:00

Utkatasana (Fierce Posture) is a simple but strong standing asana that works the glutes, thighs, and back while stretching the achilles tendons and soleus muscles of the lower legs.

Stand with your feet together. Bend your knees, extend your arms overhead, and lift your gaze to the thumbs. Drop your tail and scoop the belly up and in to support your back. Ground into your heels as you sit your hips and use the inhales to reach up out of your pelvis by lengthening the torso. Feel the opposing actions of the posture as you breathe fully into the upper chest.

To refine the posture, roll your triceps in with an external rotation of the arms and press your palms together to engage the chest and sides. Alternatively, for those with very tight shoulders, keep the hands shoulder-width apart or even open the arms to a Y-shape to help relax the shoulders down while maintaining the upward energetic expression of the pose. Stay for 5-10 breaths as you continue to find your way into a deeper sit and a higher reach.

Primary Friday: Depth Perception

2012-02-10T23:06:00.001-06:00

image source

In spite of the mid-week moon day temporarily derailing the train, my practice has settled into a comfortable, steady clip. It feels good in my body. I am finding strength and space without the persistent soreness of daily Primary. Not only that, but I have made peace, it would seem, with the effort.

I would be lying if I claimed that there are never mornings when it feels a chore to lay out the mat, but I slip into the rhythm quite easily, even on the hardest of days, and take joy in the work without the heavy ambition of previous years.

You may have noticed I am writing less about the details of my practice. Writing less in general, really. There is a reluctance to rehash the minutia. All is well, just auditing my energies. I am in the midst of a rebound from a period of violent expansion. Feeling overexposed and wishing to hole up somewhere quiet, but work is keeping me out and about. Daydreams of yoga vacations in Goa or Maui ("vacations" meaning intensive work with amazing teachers, obviously...) have been dancing through my mind this week.

The switch to morning asana practice has streamlined my mornings, creating a nice, open space in the afternoon or early evening in which to sit. Some weeks ago, I read a bit about Zen meditation to give my sitting practice some structure. At first, the reading was helpful, but as soon as I tried to read up and really inform myself on the method, it became obvious that too much instruction is counterproductive to the process. It was nearly enough to be given a posture, given a gaze, and told to watch the thoughts and breath.

Sound familiar?

To look into it much more, at least for me at this time, would be like pouring a bucket of murky water into a sink that won't drain. You've got to let the debris settle and manually remove the blockage before anything can get through.

The blog may be going through a structural reformatting soon. Still ruminating on that. In the meantime, I've got a couple of product reviews coming at you in the near future. Stay tuned.

Asana of the Week: Pincha Mayurasana

2012-02-06T16:06:00.001-06:00

Pincha Mayurasana (Feathered Peacock Pose) is a challenging inverted arm balance that demands strong shoulders, abdominals, and, most of all, focus.

Pincha can be especially intimidating because the face is so close to the floor. There may be a fear of falling on one's face as if the arms are not strong enough, but, in reality, if you should fall out of the posture, you are more likely to flop over than to collapse because integrated core strength is much more crucial to sustaining this balance than powerful arms.

That being said, don't flop over; which is not to say, "don't fall." By all means, fall! Fall your little heart out. Just don't flip or flop. Tuck and roll. Set your head down and roll out. You'll be fine. If you don't believe me, keep practicing Sirsasana (Headstand) and Dolphin Pose until you feel ready.

So, now that you know how to fall, let's talk about how NOT to fall. Start with a solid foundation. From a kneeling position, set the elbows shoulder-width on the mat. First, lay the hands down with the palms up to encourage the shoulders to broaden. Then turn the palms down, spread the hands, ground the wrists, and bring readiness to the fingertips. Tuck your toes under, lift your hips, and walk your feet in as far as you can. Try to position the shoulders over the elbows as in the full posture. Set your gaze somewhere south of the thumbs so your neck is not overextended, then lift one leg high in the air, keeping the hips square.

With an inhalation, push off gently with the back foot as you pull up with the lifted leg. Do not kick or swing. Remember: small movements. Don't overdo it. You will end up in something like this:

From there, slowly scissor the legs together at the center, point the feet, and lift the toes to the sky. It is common in those with tight shoulders for the elbows to slide apart and the hands to smush together. You can put a book or block between the hands to stabilize your foundation, OR (listen up, Ashtangis!) you can try this fabulous cheat via Swenson: put the tips of the thumbs together.

A solid drishti is essential. Find a pulled thread on your practice rug, a piece of lint, or (my favorite) an errant dog hair, and stare that sucker down. Remember your bandhas and don't forget to breathe.

Primary Friday: Revelations and Prostrations

2012-02-03T19:46:00.001-06:00

Interesting practice this morning. Yesterday, I experienced a great deal of post-practice discomfort deep in the right hip, just anteriorly of the joint, and felt as though my leg were more externally rotated than normal. Then today in practice, the hip was stupid-open. Janu C was at a whole new level. Garbha P was no problem, arms and all. The entry to Urdvha Padmasana was easier than ever. It was amazing.

Then... something happened. In Sirsasana, or rather, just after Sirsasana, in child's pose. Face to the mat. Tears. Accompanied by a river of memories revealing the importance of a great teacher from my past, an importance that had been lost on me until now. From there, the faces of other influential teachers sprang forth, one after another, and suddenly I found myself looking back on a long line of generous mentors and illuminators with a clarity that unveiled an exciting continuity, a pattern of ascension that I have never recognized before.

With my sweet and patient mother. I'm helping, see?

I don't have many crying episodes in practice... in fact, I can think of only one... but this was different. I was deeply overcome with gratitude. I stayed in my prostration and wept, sending thanks to my teachers -- who have arrived in both animal and human form -- for their gifts, their sacrifice.

That is what it is, you know, the teaching: self-sacrifice. Perhaps not to the point of death, and surely this is more true in some fields than in others, but I believe it applies to teaching in every level and form. Yoga comes to mind as one of the obvious realms. Many aging teachers, particularly those of the Ashtanga tradition, travel almost constantly. They sacrifice their practice and their bodies so that we may have a chance to save ourselves.

With Jericho, one of my greatest teachers.

This karmic exchange is beautiful and sad, and I have sensed it within those who have been most influential in my life, who have taught from the heart, with honesty, love, and respect. This willingness not only to give but to give of oneself has shown in those who have been patient and, in doing so, taught me to have patience, in those who have been kind and taught me kindness, and in those who have been bold and taught me to be bold, to use my gifts, and to always chase the truth.

As I step, once again, into the role of teacher, the inevitability of this cycle is not lost on me. Perhaps this is the shift. I have cultivated my own gifts in fertile ground, nourished by the wisdom of my teachers. I feel a ripening. Perhaps now is the time for harvest, time to share the fruit.

With David and Shelley, super-teaching team.

Practice Ramblings and Kapo from Behind

2012-02-02T15:56:00.000-06:00

There has been a balmy shift in climate here in Austin this week. The weather is unseasonably warm and humid, so the yoga has been sweet and sweaty. I am still loving my practice especially much. Some days, I step off the mat feeling as though I am walking on air, really just so open and full of life.

Today, I lost myself so completely in the sensation and the flow that I forgot Pasasana and went right through the warriors, into Primary through Purvottanasana before I realized what I had done. Oops. But perhaps it was what my body needed. Paschimottanasana took care of a tweak in the back that had been bugging me, and the inclusion of Purvo showed as extra space in Bhekasana.

As for Pasasana, I have not bound this posture in some time. As a rule, I am giving myself less time to work into the postures, which may account for it in some way. There is also the fact that I am practicing earlier in the day and without the Marichyasanas as preparation for the twist. Pasasana is one of the few postures that makes me wish I practiced regularly with a teacher. Pasasana and Dwi Pada...

And Karandavasana. I know last week I mentioned that it might be time to tack it on, but I am having second thoughts. While my hips have opened considerably in recent months, I cannot get my legs into a safe lotus without the use of my hands, which precludes Karandavasana.... unless I modify.... which I might do.

Then again, I am not Dwi Pada-ing on my own, so my practice time might be better spent on LBH preparations than on moving forward in the series at this time. The postures that follow Pincha -- my present stopping point -- aren't going to help me get my shoulders open for a consistent heel grab in Kapo, either.

So that settles it. I'm staying put for now. On days when I want a longer practice, I can just put a bit of Primary in there before going on to Intermediate. In the future I hope to do this consciously, not unconsciously as I did today. Bad lady.

On the topic of teachers or lack thereof, one of the great things about having a teacher is that they will tell you when you are horribly crooked in a posture, even if your body won't. Years of balancing heavy trays of food exclusively on my left hand have left me with a shortened right side. My right hip cocks up. My right shoulder pulls down. This feels natural, but I am working to correct this. Recently, the imbalance is showing up in Kapo, so I decided to grab a video (my sometimes-substitute for a teacher) from a different angle to see what's going on.

The first thing I noticed was the excess tension in my right hand as I take the arms back. Then I start to veer right and that trend continues all the way to the floor. Granted, it is not dramatic, in large part because I am very aware of the imbalance and doing my best to compensate with the information that I have. Then there's the issue of the wide elbows; this is me working really hard to pull them in. Feet were extra slippery today so I couldn't get a good grip to pull against.

The arms are excessively bent in Kapo B -- feeling super tight in the shoulders lately -- but I work to push them a little bit straighter on every exhalation. All in all, it felt good and I was pleased with the jump through that follows, as evidenced by the sweaty, panting, post-Kapo grin.

Asana of the Week: Supta Padangusthasana

2012-01-30T16:03:00.001-06:00

Supta Padangusthasana (Reclining Foot Big-Toe Pose) is a fantastic supine posture for lengthening the hamstrings, opening the hips, and toning the abdominals. I am quite fond of this posture in my own practice and consider it to be one of the highlights of the Ashtanga Primary series.

To come into Supta Padangusthasana, lie flat on your back with legs together and the spine straight. Inhale as you lift your right leg and catch your big toe with your right hand. Exhale as you pull the leg toward you and contract your abdominals, lifting the scapula from the mat, to touch your nose or chin to shin. Create resistance between the arm and leg to activate the posture. Press your left heel down into the floor. This is position A. Stay for 5-10 breaths.

Inhale as you lay your body down and straighten the arm, keeping your grip on the toe. Exhale as you swing the leg to the right, opening the hip, and turn your gaze to the left. Use your left hand to press the left hip/thigh firmly to the mat. Keep both sides of the body long and, again, create resistance by pushing the foot into the grip of the hand. This is position B. Hold for 5-10 breaths and feel the foot drift closer to the floor with every exhalation as the adductors of the groin and inner thigh release.

To exit the pose, inhale the right leg back to center. Exhale and touch nose or chin to shin for the length of the exhalation. Inhale to extend the arm and leg, and exhale to let the leg down. Repeat positions A and B for the same number of breaths on the opposite side.

If flexibility does not permit you to grasp the big toe with your leg straight, bend your knee as needed or use a strap around the foot. There is a tendency, particularly in position B, for the opposite hip to lift away from the floor. Do your best to keep both hips on the mat.

Primary Friday: Astronomy Hour

2012-01-27T23:59:00.000-06:00

Another week of practice has come and gone. Primary this morning was delightful. The days and weeks have fallen into a pleasant rhythm and I have arrived at a place of familiarity with what has become my daily practice.

Until recently, Intermediate had felt more like someone else's practice. My teachers advised me to split and move forward a few months ago. At the time, I balked and dragged my heels, loathe to leave Primary behind, but eventually followed through on their advice. Since the split, I have felt like a tourist on the mat, clumsily groping my way through the sequence, wondering where and how I might find that essential sense of ease.

I think I've found it. Though the arc of my current practice -- Intermediate through Pincha -- is awkward, as though it builds and builds only to drop abruptly before the fire really starts to burn, it has grown and billowed into an experience all my own. I know when to stride out, when to hold back, where to push and where to soften. Some days, I might stop and work on Eka Pada for five minutes; other days, only five breaths. Same goes for Kapo: sometimes, it's the main event. Sometimes, it's just another pose. Inhale. Exhale. Five times. Move on.

As I mature, the sense of urgency that seemed to feed the fire behind my practice is fading fast. The primary emotion is gratitude. I am grateful for this practice. I am grateful for this body. I am in no hurry to consume the series for the sake of its completion.

Rather, I am fascinated by the processes as they unfold. I observe awakenings and openings as one gazes at the stars: Ooh, isn't that lovely. Look at that one sparkle! Sensations are born, they burn brightly, and then they fade away, leaving only a soft impression on the mind and a sense of depth as yet unknown. It is an inward journey through the cosmos of human experience. A great mystery, meant to be explored. How lucky we are to have such a powerful lens through which to map this infinite space.

"There is only one drishti. That is God." -- Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

Free is Better

2012-01-25T18:21:00.000-06:00

I found this aging beauty outside...

... and made this amazing red pepper hummus.

As always, the trash gods provide.

It's Not Sexy. It's Yoga.

2012-01-24T07:34:00.000-06:00

'Nuff said.

"I feel joy for no good reason."

2012-01-23T17:33:00.000-06:00

The above was a facebook status update made by a yoga student and friend of mine. You better believe I "liked" that status as it came rolling through my page because -- you know what? So do I!

ENORMOUS joy.

I am enjoying my practice so much that it's spilling into my day, sending me out into the world with a silly grin on my face and a heart swollen with... well... with love, damnit! In this stage, the practice prepares me to act from a place of love. It is beautiful. New patterns are emerging to replace the old. My creative energy is wandering from the page, from the mat, into my every moment and manifesting as authentic self-expression.

I hear poetry. I dance at random. I am cooking with a spirit of adventure.

At times, this is dangerous and may appear to be unwise, but there is a sense of what I can describe only as trust -- unwavering confidence both in myself and in the natural order -- which has opened me to entirely new levels of both intellectual and sensory experience.

I feel tingly all over. My mind is vast and empty, at the ready.

Incidentally, I took my heels in Kapo this morning... by myself... for the first time ever... after two days rest. Could there be a correlation between this quiet openness and the sudden space in Kapo? Maybe. It's not as if I haven't been working hard at the posture on and off for months, but the ease of it was startling. I took my time with the hang back, then dove and walked and walked and walked... and realized I was still walking when I felt the stubble on my shin. Woah. It felt great, and not great in that intense, gripping way. Just nice. Comfortable. I savored the experience for a few extra breaths.

Tittibhasana C

On top of that, the Titti bind is back. My torrid love affair with Tittibhasana continues. Especially position C. I daydream about being there, my chest cavity giving way to the pressure of my legs like a melon in a vice... Oh, GAWD! Do it to me!!

I know it probably sounds awful, but Tittibhasana does something incredible to my lats, pecs, and shoulder girdle that no massage has ever done. Sometimes, as I work to straighten the legs, the pressure cracks my shoulders in this strange, wonderful way and my ribs feel like they're bowing under the weight so that my intercostals pull and stretch. It all makes me want to let out a low, primal pleasure groan or two.

Pincha is no longer a problem. I have weened myself from all comfort objects and rituals regarding its practice. Not insignificantly, I have also learned how to fall out of the posture painlessly by putting the head down and rolling out if I start to flip. That being said, it might be time to set my sights on Karandavasana. Onward!

Asana of the Week: Urdhva Padmasana

2012-01-22T08:29:00.000-06:00

Urdhva Padmasana (Upward Facing Lotus Posture) is a challenging inverted posture and an extension of Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand). Proficiency in Padmasana should be gained before attempting this pose.

To enter Urdhva Padmasana, begin in Sarvangasana with both legs straight and the hands supporting the back. Bend the left leg away from the body by extending at the hip, then fold the right leg into place. Take one hand away from the back to assist, if necessary. Once the right leg is in position, bring the left leg into lotus, switching hands if necessary to work the legs into a secure and comfortable lotus.

Once the legs are in lotus, flex at the hip to bring the thigh bones parallel to the floor. One at a time, take your hands to your knees and push the arms straight. Create stability in the posture by pressing your knees into your hands and your hands into your knees. Lift your sitting bones and engage mula bandha and uddiyana bandha to facilitate the extension of the spine.

Try to avoid rounding your back as you draw the scapula together and down. My teacher describes this action as "squeezing a walnut" between the shoulderblades. This is the same action that will balance the posture and protect the neck from undue strain. If you feel pressure on the back of the neck or the C7 vertebrae, exit and reevaluate your posture. If your legs will not comfortably take lotus from this position, you may modify the pose by simply crossing your legs as in Sukhasana (Easy Seat). Do not attempt to modify the posture with a half lotus position, as this will unbalance the hips and may strain the knees.

Because it's Cute

2012-01-21T19:19:00.000-06:00

... and true.

Primary Friday: Another One Bites the Dust

2012-01-20T15:46:00.000-06:00

Found this while walking with my dog.

Practice has been great and there's really not much to say about the dirty details. Just doing my thing. Day by day.

Here's something, though: Not only have I managed to wake and practice every morning, but it has only been three weeks and already morning practice is a total joy. This is really exciting because, for years, I have felt like I was cheating myself out of I-knew-not-what by doing practice later in the day. I wanted to do morning practice, but could never seem to manage it. I didn't often feel well enough or strong-willed enough to hit the mat straight out of the gate. Twice, I had hoped that daily training with Swenson would give me a running start, but no dice.

But then, this morning, this happened: The alarm went off at 4:25am. I looked at it. I turned it off, crawled back under the covers and started to roll over. I heard a little voice that I've heard many times before mutter, "just a few more minutes."

I agreed and began to fade away when a second voice rang loudly, clearly through the fog. "No! Get up! I'm rested and I want to do my practice!"

Wait. What? Who??

I got up. Performed the kriyas, did my practice, and loved every minute of it. It is enchanting to witness the birth of a new pattern and the death of an old way.

LBH: The Movie

2012-01-17T14:22:00.000-06:00

Practice this morning was nice. It's been unseasonably warm and humid for the past few days, so practice has been sweatier than usual. The warmth helps tremendously with the leg-behind-head sequence, so much that I've been making major headway this week in Eka Pada. Behold:

As you can see, I take my sweet time to come into the full expression. Yes, I lose some heat spending so much time on my back, but my knees and neck have thanked me warmly for the extra preparation. The reclining preparatory posture, which I found in Maehle's book, is an extremely effective warm-up not just for the hip opening, but also because it engages the abdominals and spinal extensors in the same way as the upright variation. Still, even after all of that prep work, I felt it necessary to secure my leg during the forward bend to protect my lumbar.

I don't know how you hardliners will feel about this, but for a while I was completely skipping Dwi Pada and spending double time in Yoganidrasana to help me get the hips open without hurting myself. However, lately, since Eka Pada is coming along so nicely, I've inserted a strength building Dwi Pada modification in which I work my knees up onto my shoulders and press my feet together in front of my face to simulate the high-pressure effect of the legs against the shoulders and neck as in the full expression. The modification is surprisingly difficult and I'm sort of sorry I haven't been doing it this way all along.

Yoganidrasana is feeling spacious. I've been reviewing drishte designations for 2nd series in Matthew Sweeney's book and was reminded that the drishte here is third eye. I think I've been gazing down the nose, but find that third eye is more energetically effective and feels better on my neck and back.

Intermediate has already done amazing things to the shape of my body, but one unforeseen development has been the change in the thickness of my neck. I might not have noticed except, the other day, I tried to wear a pretty little silver chain that, not so long ago, would have rested elegantly at the base of my neck to find it now fits almost like a choker, the chain rolling and twisting against my skin when I turn my head this way or that. It may not be the most alluring yoga side effect, but I'll take it if it means Dwi Pada.

Practice Notes

2012-01-16T16:56:00.000-06:00

I've been working hard on the mat and it must be catching up with me. Last night after work, I soaked in a salt bath, had a glass of wine, and knocked off for the night to awaken not eight or nine but TEN hours later, all warm and fuzzy and rested.

Practice is plugging along. Sunday practice -- post oil bath -- was nice, if a little meandering. The castor oil definitely helped to alleviate some of the resistance in my lumbar, though it didn't do a whole lot for my shoulders. Nonetheless, I reclaimed some space in Kapo. Doing the posture twice makes a huge difference, especially if I refrain from countering the spinal extension between rounds and simply rest in Virasana for a few breaths. The LBH set was also quite good. I have found a preparatory routine that seems to work really well; thinking about recording the whole leg-behind-head affair in practice tomorrow to get a good look at the rotations and spinal position and all that jazz. Depending on how boring and/or hilarious it is, I might share it here.

Today's practice, in contrast, was streamlined and solid. Since I woke up late this morning, I had a time goal of 90 minutes. I've been splitting at Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana since reading in Matthew Sweeney's book that Utkatasana is actually the first posture of the Primary series. If one does standing all the way through Ardha Baddha, then the vinyasa to Pasasana is the same as the one to Utkatasana. It's nice and clean that way, not to mention that the extra hip opening is nice, but today I split at Parvsottanasana to save time.

Got right down to business at Pasasana and sailed through to Laghu Vajrasana. Gave myself a single shot at Kapo, but it was slow and deliberate. I hung there for a good, long while letting gravity do some of the work. My shoulders were especially tight, so no heels, but my back felt really nice. Landed Bakasana B on the first try, plodded through the twists, and hit the LBH with plenty of heat to get deep into the postures. Tittibhasana, as usual, left me dazed and feeling like my insides had been scooped out with a ladle. (It's more pleasant than it sounds.) I took a few extra breaths in down dog to recover, then stuck Pincha for five long breaths on the first attempt.

Backbends were okay. Drop backs have been good. Managed five in a row today without moving my feet. I've been doing more work with hang backs before going for the dynamic drop backs every morning and it's made a noticeable difference. The hangbacks are such a great way to explore all the subtle elements of the backbend, from the feet up to the gaze. I think they've been especially valuable to me as a home practitioner. Without assistance, more preparation and internal exploration seems to be the only way.

Make a Choice, Make a Change

2012-01-15T07:16:00.000-06:00

Primary Friday: Squat! Thrust!

2012-01-13T23:59:00.000-06:00

It's been another good week of practice. I am still committed to the early mornings, in keeping with my resolution, and I must say that, after just two weeks, it's clear that this has been a transformative choice. I'm eating better, drinking less, sleeping more, and my productivity has gone through the roof. Not only that, but I look forward to the kriyas, coffee, and quiet mornings on the mat. Practice is a pleasure. The mental resistance is gone.

The physical resistance, however, is fully intact. Intermediate is knocking me around like a drunken hubby home from the docks. Old injuries are flaring up. Both ilio-psoas regions -- first left, then right -- have experienced what feels less like muscle soreness and more like a bruise or tear right over the hip bone. A similar shortness is present in my left side/chest, the same areas affected by the biopsy oh-so-many months ago. Apparently, I need to make a special effort now to keep these spots open or the scar tissue hardens right up.

My low back is also feeling strange. About a year and a half ago, I found a pair of bulging discs in my lumbar spine. The Ashtanga has done amazing things to heal this vulnerability -- the swelling is gone and the area is strong -- but the extensors around the discs have seized up. Practice feels good, but I've been taking those first couple of Surya Namaskara really slowly to let the hard spots soften. Forward bending and the leg-behind-head postures must be performed with special care.

I have lost a couple of pounds in the switch to morning practice, but am still not binding much in Intermediate without an aid. Of course, the mobility of my shoulders is still limited, but I am beginning to think that part of the problem may be this tension in the low back, particularly when it comes to binding Tittibhasana. Naturally, I'm not pushing it. Just going to the edge and waiting for the area to open up.

With all of these old injuries and seats of tension seizing up in spite of regular, responsible practice, it occurred to me that I haven't taken an oil bath in a couple of months. Could the castor oil ritual really make so much difference in keeping these areas soft? I wonder. Time to buy another bottle and find out.

On a side note, who remembers squat thrusts? Here's Anthony to refresh your memory:

Squat thrust = Surya Namaskara? Let's just be thankful for the yoga.

Asana of the Week: Padmasana

2012-01-13T17:44:00.001-06:00

"Place the feet on the thighs, soles upward, palms in the middle of the groin, facing upward. Gaze at the nosetip, keeping the tongue pressed against the root of the upper teeth and the chin against the chest, and slowly raise the prana upward. This is called Padmasana, destroyer of all diseases. Ordinary people cannot achieve this posture, only the few wise ones on this earth can."

Hatha Yoga Pradipika, 1:45-47

The Lotus posture is the most iconic of all the yoga asanas and almost certainly the oldest. The unfolding of a comfortably held Lotus is considered to be the reward of a sincere and dedicated practice.

Padmasana is the traditional and preferred seat for the practices of pranayama and meditation. From this we can deduce that asana, as it is placed along the path of the eight limbs, is a preparatory practice. Preparation for what? For Padmasana and its potential. What potential? The potential for the "force in the pranic system and the higher faculties of the mind" to be awakened (Hatha Yoga Pradipika, commentary by Swami Muktibodhananda).

Energetically, Padmasana balances the forces of prana and apana in the body. Physically, it promotes blood flow to the vital organs of the abdomen and nourishes the sacral and coccygeal nerves (the subtle seat of kundalini) by decreasing blood flow to the legs.

When practicing Padmasana, do not force your legs into position. This is important. Let me repeat:

DO NOT FORCE YOUR LEGS INTO LOTUS POSITION.

I don't wish to enforce any seething rumors that yoga may in fact wreck your body, so work with me here and err on the side of caution. If you feel it in your knees, stop, exit, and regroup.

Gregor Maehle offers a nice step-by-step method for safely taking Padmasana in Ashtanga Yoga: Practice & Philosophy. His four-phase approach, which I have paraphrased below, has been enormously helpful to me in my own practice.

Hug your right knee to your chest and close the knee joint completely so that your the heel touches your buttocks. If the knee does not close, do not proceed.
Hold the joint closed as you laterally (externally) rotate the thigh and draw your heel toward your groin. Think Janu Sirsasana A. If you feel pressure in the knee, do not proceed.
Point your foot and cradle your leg so the foot and knee are level and draw the heel toward your navel. If your heel does not reach your navel without pressure in the knee, do not proceed.
Fold the leg into place by now medially rotating the thigh and lay the top of the foot into the crease of the opposite hip. The soles of the feet should point up toward the sky, not toward the body.

Recreate steps 1-4 to fold the left leg into position. Be aware that it is more difficult to keep the joint fully closed on the second side because the foot must navigate over the right leg. If strain is felt in either knee as you place the left leg into position, practice a half lotus variation instead. If practicing half lotus, spend equal time with each leg on top. Always refrain from the use of force. Be wise, be patient, and do your practice. It will come.

Back in the Saddle

2012-01-11T13:34:00.000-06:00

YEEHAW! Good news, pardners! I wrangled me a job teaching the yoga. Ashtanga, to boot! Stay tuned for details and be sure to check out the "Schedule" tab when it reappears at the top of the page. (Ashtanga newbs, I'm looking at you!)

Get ready, Austin. Feels good to be back in the saddle.

Growling at the Moon

2012-01-08T12:41:00.000-06:00

Play this:

And read this: http://ayny.org/how-the-nyt-can-wreck-yoga.html

Happy moon day.

Primary Friday: Sweet and Spicy

2012-01-06T22:47:00.000-06:00

It's been a good, full week of practice, my first six-day week in a while. Early morning practices all, in keeping with my resolution... er... intention for the new year. Not only that, but I split (again) to Intermediate.

I had split in October at the advice of David and Shelley, but after the stress of losing my job and the unprecedented emotional backlash that the work in 2nd series seemed to encourage, I ran back to the always open, ever-loving arms of Primary to carry me through the chaos of the holiday season. But now there's no excuse. It's time.

Fresh in my resolve to break strong from the gate, I kicked off 2012 on the morning of the 1st with a 4:30am wakeup and Intermediate to Pincha Mayurasana. It was stiff at first, and slow, but with each posture and with each day, I have grown to love these early mornings. The quiet of the upswing of the dawn is sweet and peaceful and my entire day transformed by this simple act of preparation. I have even rearranged the furnishings to make room for my mat to lay in such a way that I may practice facing east.

The return to 2nd series has been hard. Though my achilles have suddenly given way with some added length, my shoulders are still tight, putting the bind in Pasasana out of reach with rare exception. My quads were sore from Laghu for a day or two, but rebounded soon enough. I've lost some space in Kapo, but I'm doing it twice per practice and taking my time to build it up slowly. The work feels good.

Eka Pada and the LBH in general are just about to open up. I can feel it. Eka Pada on the right side is comfortable. The leg stays back there and my back feels safe in the forward bend, but the left hip is more stubborn. Still, there is progress.

Titti has broken my heart. I love the posture, but I lost the bind and the whole experience is less gratifying without that security. Here's hoping the bind comes back this week or, if not, that I might remember to keep my towel handy for a decent simulation.

Pincha, another posture I am repeating once per practice, is getting better all the time. Entries are more reliable and stays are steadier. I even managed the proper exit with just the tiniest of chest bounces for the first time this week, though only once. Once is good. It's a start.

Primary this morning was serene. It was a gorgeous afternoon in Austin, and this evening I enjoyed some damn good spicy curry for dinner. What a perfect way to end the week!

Asana of the Week: Tolasana (Utpluthih)

2012-01-06T07:10:00.000-06:00

Tolasana (Scales Pose), known among Ashtangis as Utpluthih (pronounced OOT-PLOOT-TEEHEE), is an important arm balancing posture that builds strength, heat, and stamina as it highlights and tones the all-important bandhas

To enter this posture, fold your legs into Padmasana, plant your hands beside your hips, and inhale to curl up from the belly and lift the body from the floor. Push the arms straight and the shoulders down. Be sure to spread your fingers wide and distribute the weight evenly across the surface of both palms. Lift the legs until your thigh bones are approximately parallel to the floor. There is a slight rounding of the low back here as you tuck the tail under and curl the belly in. Hold for 10 breaths or more.

Consciously use the bandhas to create a sense of lightness in your posture. Feel yourself floating up-up-up! The traditional driste (gaze) is to the nose, but I prefer to lift the gaze to the third eye in order to encourage an upward, pranic experience of the posture.

The obvious prerequisite to this arm balance is a comfortable Padmasana (Lotus Pose); however, if Padmasana puts any strain on the knees or ankles, Tolasana may be practiced instead with the shins crossed and the knees drawn in toward the chest. If the posture is practiced this way, be sure to alternate the crossing of the legs with each practice. Do not be put off if at first you cannot lift from the floor or hold the posture for very long. Keep trying. Strength will come.

"The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions"

2012-01-05T07:40:00.000-06:00

Here's a link to Richard Freeman doing his poetic illumination thing. Great talk, but grab a drink and get cozy: it's 75 minutes long.

http://yogaworkshop.com/images/blog_uploads/2012/01/The-road-to-hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions.mp3

I love this man. Can we bring him to Austin please?

2012 Intentions

2012-01-04T09:11:00.000-06:00

2011 was the first in many years for which I recorded a list of intentions. Looking back on those intentions now, I am both satisfied and amused with the change/non-change that has taken place. Just for fun, let's recap:

2011 Intentions

Sustain morning pranayama
Lighten up on dinner
Quit the sweet stuff
Achieve handstand fluency
Teach yoga full-time

All five of these intentions are quite specific and easily judged. Have I sustained a morning pranayama practice? No. Have I diminished my evening meal? Yes. Have I quit eating sugar? Not exactly, but it's less of a compulsion and more of an occasional indulgence. Am I handstanding away from the wall? Yes, but I have learned that this is more about an ability to fall gracefully than sticking a perfect balance every time. And finally, am I teaching yoga full time? Well... I was until recently, so I'm going to let it count.

So... what's the tally? Three and a half out of five? Not bad.

This year, I've got a shorter list:

2012 Intentions

Learn to play
Learn to be vulnerable
Commit to morning practice
Complete a first draft of my novel

I am optimistic about this fresh set of intentions. The first two are attitudinal and related to some important discoveries I've made about myself this year with the help of two very wise women in my life. The next two are long-time aspirations that I'm tired of half-assing.

So far, so good on all fronts.

New Year's Day, I awakened bright and early to set the tone for the year and have continued to do so all week. Thus far, morning practice has been a pleasure and the novel is coming along nicely. The progressive success of the first two intentions will be more difficult to measure, but I look forward to the inherent challenge of balancing the frightful strength and intensity of my personality (It's genetic. Don't believe me? Spend a day with my five obsessive, perfectionist, sharp-witted siblings. I dare you) with a softer, lighter approach. I will attempt to bring forth the feminine with cooling practices and temper the flame of this fiery, masculine energy that has reigned for so long. Wish me luck.

Lean into It

2012-01-01T18:14:00.000-06:00

Primary Friday: Yoga Chikitsa

2011-12-30T23:59:00.000-06:00

Sri K. Pattabhi Jois in Samasthiti

I so love that the final day of the year will be a Saturday. The obsessive compulsive in me is hugely gratified by the synchronicity of a week, month, and year coming to a close at once. We must be tidy. Must be neat.

The final practice of 2011 was a soft evening Primary, throughout which I couldn't help but think back to my first Primary explorations at the beginning of the year. What a journey it's been! Earlier this week, I wrote about the larger impacts of the practice and how it's changed my life. Today, I'll write about how the posture practice -- the asana -- has evolved my body, attitude, and understanding.

On a physical level, there has been substantial change. I am longer and leaner. Hips and thighs are noticeably more toned. Upper body strength has developed in a nicely balanced way; I am looking less like a linebacker and more like a yogi every day. With this scaling down of excess bulk, I have found that the mobility of my shoulders has improved tremendously. As a result of this opening, neck complaints, previously a common problem, have fallen by the wayside.

Even as my hips have narrowed and toned, so too have they been opened through the Primary practice. When I first came to Ashtanga, lotus was a red zone. Both knees were tight and unstable and, at the time, I seriously doubted I would ever assume a comfortable lotus or half-lotus position. I spent months modifying postures, developing awareness and, slowly but surely, my lotus bloomed. In fact, in my final practice of the year, I managed Urdhva Padmasana with no discomfort whatsoever for the very first time. Here's to the efficacy of patience in practice. Karandavasana, here I come.

Perhaps the most significant physical opening I experienced this year was in the backbends. The drop backs changed not only my body, but my psyche, my inner state. The sensation of those first few drop backs early in the year were quite a wake up call, reminding me not only of the imbalances to which I'd grown blind, but also that sometimes it becomes necessary to move through the pain rather than around it. I know pain talk in the practice is often shunned outside the world of Ashtanga, but what I felt learning to drop back was pain, and it was necessary and good. The Intermediate backbends picked up where the drop backs left off, super-toning my back, thighs, and buttocks, teaching me to support the lower half while softening the upper half in order to open the chest cavity and thoracic spine.

Through the discomfort, my body was healed and my heart was opened. I learned to accept risk, and to care for and carry myself in a whole new way. It's the yoga chikitsa, the only therapy I know. And now I look forward to the New Year and all that it brings. This will be the year of nadi shodana, the nerve cleansing. Based on the jarring effects that Intermediate has had so far, I suspect there is much that lies in store.

The Game

2011-12-28T20:32:00.000-06:00

With the New Year fast approaching, I can feel myself dropping into a less ambitious, more reflective state. Asana practice has continued to be erratic, but interestingly, I have ceased to be bothered by this. Instead, I have allowed my practice to become flexible and simply valued whatever time I have. This has made all the difference. Certainly, it makes things more pleasant in my head; but even physically, I am less affected by lack of practice when I choose to remain soft and in the mindset always. This is another one of those lessons I must learn over and over again.

The year 2011, now almost to a close, has been incredible. It was only January that I first began to practice Ashtanga in the tradition of Pattabhi Jois. I strongly believe that this practice has been the driving force, the impetus, behind the enormous change and -- dare I say it -- the growth that I've experienced over the course of this past year. Many times, I saw the storms on the horizon and feared my tiny vessel would be overwhelmed, but found instead only more deftness in life and more capacity for joy. Ashtanga has provided me with an indispensable set of tools with which to face adversity. I love this practice with a passion and will be forever grateful. Thank you, Guruji, for disseminating this wealth of information so prolifically. And thank you, David Swenson, for planting that seed at the dawning of a decade that will soon loop back upon itself, the circle nearly complete. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Not long after Ashtanga won out as my daily practice, replacing the meandering Vinyasa experimentation I had previously employed, I found the courage to leave my dependable job of many years and take the plunge into full-time teaching with little savings to back me up and no guarantee of regular work. In order to survive, I further simplified my life, edging off the non-essentials. In so doing, I created a clearing in which for opportunities to land. And they did. Well-paying gigs just fell into my lap, and soon I had a pretty full schedule teaching yoga. A dream come true.

Then my partner and I broke up. After seven years. It was hard, but not that hard, and not long after that, when I moved into my new apartment to live alone for the first time in my adult life, I felt as though I had literally stepped into the light after years and years of darkness. Such lightness, such relief. I became aware of the thousands of ways in which I had compromised myself to sustain that other person, and rather than feel regret or self-loathing for having done so for so long, I have taken enormous pleasure in rediscovering myself. Intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually. It's been a wild, wonderful ride.

Just weeks after the break up, I had the pleasure of studying with David and Shelley for the first time, two weeks of morning Mysore and pranayama. The intensity of this experience felt very much like a gauntlet through which to pass in order to better understand the culture and the practice of Ashtanga -- baptism by tapas, if you will. Those two weeks with Swenson burned through any lingering pain from the separation and put me more finely in tune with my self-abused body.

But when I turned that attention inward, I found something amiss. Swollen lymph nodes all over. Night sweats. Fatigue and chronic ketosis. These symptoms sent me to seek a medical opinion, an opinion which turned out to be a potentially leveling blow: it looked like the "C" word. Cancer. At age 25. I spent weeks undergoing tests and an invasive biopsy, waiting and waiting and waiting for the final word. During this interval between the first and last mention of the worst-case scenario, I fell into the most vivid, perceptually expansive state I have ever experienced. It was a death meditation and it was bliss. I glimpsed the moment of transition. I felt the final breath and it felt more perfect than anything I have ever felt before. I was changed.

Somehow so appropriately, just a matter of weeks after the announcement of a benign result, I returned to the feet of my teachers, humbled and scarred, but also emboldened by the peace that I had found. Another three weeks of intensive study with David and Shelley in the company of many fine students and teachers enabled such extreme growth to take place that I am still processing the enormity of that experience.

And, as if that weren't enough for one year, just days after the completion of the Swenson intensive, I was fired. For a variety of reasons, I suppose, but among them, my "intense energy" and my dedication to the tradition of Ashtanga while masquerading as a proponent of fitness-based Vinyasa flow. It felt wrong and it was wrong. But this not-entirely-unexpected turn of events really opened the flood gates. I was consumed with creative passion. I poured kerosene on every bridge I never wished to cross again and set them all ablaze, then set off into the uncharted territory deep within. I haven't yet emerged from the densest of the brush, but I remain unscathed, and though this creative awakening has been painful, it has also been enriching and expansive. It has softened the boundaries of my world and illumined the dark corners, revealing a depth of possibility as yet unseen.

The coming year holds a special promise, it beckons me to enter with a glint of unforgiving mischief in its eyes. It humors me flirtatiously, ushering me in as if this passage were a matter of my choosing. Though I am not fooled by this performance, I will be coy and play the game. Not yet, 2012. Not just yet...

Primary Friday: Another Chance for Morning Practice

2011-12-23T23:59:00.000-06:00

Primary was soooooo good this week; not technically perfect by any means, but perfect in it's purpose and effect. Surely, many pairs of Ashtangi eyeballs will roll at this next comment, but part of the reason my practice was so great was that I did it right away in the morning. I crawled out of bed, did nauli (my new favorite activity), had a cup of coffee and a big glass of water, and unrolled my mat. No fuss, no time for reluctance or negotiation. Just practice.

I did notice that my sweat smelled a little extra funky without any food in my stomach (see this post for backstory on that). But after my experience today, I might just give this morning practice thing another try. My body was noticeably lighter and my mind clearer. Rather than be bothered by the regular resurfacing of moments past from throughout my day, I enjoyed a mentally quiet practice with just the occasional glimmer of anticipation at the joyfulness of the day to come with my practice already under my belt. Very nice, indeed.

Once again, I am in Wisconsin with the folks and siblings this week, so I won't spend too much time here discussing the idiosyncratic ins and outs of my Primary. Suffice it to say that practice was good. And now, I'm going to go enjoy my family and give them the fullest of my love and attention. It is my wish that you all might be so lucky as to do the same.

Happy Holidays!

Asana of the Week: Setu Bandhasana

2011-12-23T08:30:00.000-06:00

(NOTE: Do not attempt this posture without the close supervision of a qualified instructor, especially if you have any history of neck injury.)

Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Posture) is the final posture of the Ashtanga Primary series before the finishing sequence. As such, there is an inherent temptation for students to rush, skip, or approximate this distinctive backbend, which is different from any other backbend in the series in that it encourages external rotation of the legs. The primary action in this posture is the extension of the cervical spine, which must be approached with care and attention to avoid injury.

To enter Setu Bandhasana, lie down on your back and turn your feet out with your knees bent and heels together like Charlie Chaplin (see right). Then, as if setting up for Matsyasana, lift your head and chest and drop the crown of your head back to the mat with the chest lifted. Cross your arms over your chest and, with an inhalation, slowly push into the feet to lift the hips from the floor. Roll forward up the centerline of the head until the hairline or forehead touch the mat. Gaze down the tip of your nose to soften the face and throat. Breath deeply into the chest for 5-10 breaths.

Throughout your stay in this posture, be aware of the sensation in the neck. We want to maximize spinal extension without crunching or compressing the cervical vertebrae. To do this, try to envision your cervical spine in the posture. Use gentle muscular contraction to create a support structure for the neck, as if each little vertebrae is held securely in its place by 360 degrees of controlled muscular tension. Resist the temptation to lift the arms away from your chest. Keep them down and pull the shoulders back. As you feel ready to move deeper into the posture, try pressing the legs straighter. Eventually, the legs may come completely straight with the inner legs together.

To exit, exhale as you slowly roll down the the centerline of the head. Take a moment on your back to gently rock your head from side to side and release any compression in the neck before lifting your head away from the floor.

Floaty Exits and Jump Back/Jump Through

2011-12-17T10:27:00.001-06:00

I've had a few video requests recently, mainly in the interest of clarifying some of the elements of my own practice that I've written about, so I took the opportunity after practice last night to grab those for you. Because I care.

First, for DeborahS, the Ashtanga "floaty" exits from Utkatasana and Virabhadrasana II. I'm not great at these. Mine are more "hoppy" than floaty most of the time (like a good IPA), but this should give you some idea of what I mean:

Next, I've had a couple of requests for a video of my own jump back/jump through since I emphasized the difference between the straight arm and the bent arm approach several weeks ago. As I said, my jump back is slow and more labored than I'd like. I believe that the straight-arm jump requires less effort, but I don't seem to have the wrist flexibility to bring my weight forward enough into the hands to accomplish it. At least that's my theory. I'm open to your insight:

As you can see, the jump back is especially slow now that I'm carrying a few extra pounds, but at least I'm jumping back again. As for the jump through, this way is quick and easy and unceremonious. I was playing with the crossed-leg jump throughs a few months back because they're supposed to build more strength, but gave up on it in favor of the simplicity of the straight-leg approach.

Comments? Questions? Other requests?

Primary Friday: The Good News

2011-12-16T21:34:00.000-06:00

I am finally emerging from this blasted winter funk! As the week went on, with each day the practice felt less and less like torture and more and more like home. Today's Primary was actually quite nice.

I started the week with my current Intermediate practice (to Pincha, with Kapo twice and Pincha twice), but aborted Intermediate entirely no later than Tuesday as it became clear that 2nd series was not at all what I needed. I needed therapy. I needed Primary. And Primary is what I've had, straight up and uncut since Tuesday. It's been lovely. Oh, how I love my Primary...

However, I can't help but wonder if this whole episode of the past few weeks, or even the entire month, is a direct consequence of my Intermediate exploration. The nerve cleansing, the prying open of the body. I have put myself in some pretty vulnerable positions recently, both professionally and personally, something I have spent my entire life avoiding. This resulted first in a level anxiety unseen since adolescence, followed almost immediately by rapid weight gain disproportionate to the changes in my diet and activity level. (Note: I'm not trying to be dramatic about the weight gain. It's like 5 pounds. It'll be gone by next week. It just came on so fast.)

It occurred to me today that the weight gain may have been an unconscious effort at self-preservation. I have taken cover under my own flesh to recover from the overexposure of the past month. The good news is that Primary seems to be aiding my emotional and physical recoveries. I am feeling much better. The bad news is that I haven't done a full week of Intermediate practice since I-don't-know-when. And -- call me paranoid -- here is where I get suspicious: Teachers have been pushing me into Intermediate practically since I took up the Ashtanga. But any time that I have moved forward into 2nd series, obstacles have arisen that have forced me to step back... or have they?

Maybe all of this is just self-sabotage. Intermediate is the unknown. It is fearsome and incomplete. Primary is my cozy little home, with every breath accounted for, every moment a part of the meditation. Why would I ever want to leave? Have I been rationalizing my own plateau into existence, holding myself back, afraid of whatever else might be revealed? I don't know, but it's a compelling explanation.

Asana of the Week: Laghu Vajrasana

2011-12-15T16:42:00.000-06:00

Laghu Vajrasana (Little Thunderbolt Posture) is a remarkable little posture in that it illuminates the role of the legs in protecting the spine during backbending and brings the crux of the spinal extension out of the lower back and up into the thoracic and cervical spine.

To enter the posture, begin in a kneeling position with the knees hip-distance apart. As if preparing for Ustrasana, take a moment here to lift the chest and bring the pelvis forward of the knees. When ready, take the hands back to the ankles and grip firmly with straight, strong arms. Pull the pelvis forward, lift the chest, and with an exhalation, drop the head back and lower the crown or hairline to the mat, keeping the arms straight throughout the transition. Do not take weight into the head. Stay for five breaths.

The quadriceps and psoas must work strongly to control the spinal extension as the head is taken back. Without committed activation of the legs throughout the entry and hold of this posture, you will not likely make it out the same way you came in. The proper exit from Laghu Vajrasana is more challenging than the posture itself and must be kept in mind throughout your stay in the backbend. After five breath cycles, inhale as you scissor the inner thighs and push with all your might into the hands and tops of the feet to pull yourself back up to the starting position. Remember to keep the head back as you emerge or the low back will collapse and the burden on the thighs will be increased, causing a tendency to fall back down.

If it is too difficult to take the head all the way to the mat, build control by lowering only part of the way with the exhalations and lifting back up on the inhalations, continuing the motion rather than pausing for five breaths in order to ensure that the legs stay active and the breath is moving.

Sunday Small Talk

2011-12-11T21:07:00.001-06:00

Sunday practice is always sort of a grab bag. I never really know what I'm going to get until I jump on in there and feel around. I am still on the receiving end of some karmic heckling for my negligence but, thanks to my first oil bath in nearly a month, today's practice was a clear improvement on the shenanigans of last week.

I practiced Intermediate to Pincha. It was nice. Pushed myself to move a little faster through the backbends without all the dawdling I sometimes allow. And you know what? It's easier if I don't stop. I had this realization with the Urdhva Dhanurasana repetitions a good while back and it applies just the same to 2nd series: pump the breath to power through the backbends. It's only when I stop and try to slow the breath and slow the pulse that the nervous repercussions take place. If I try to rest, I start to feel winded and the whole thing is overblown. On the other hand, if I just keep moving, keep breathing, I'm through the whole backbending barrage before I know it and everything is fine. Must try to remember this.

The hips are slowly opening up again, but my shoulders are stubbornly immobilized. Both internal and external rotation is unusually limited. I can't bind anything. I've never had a problem binding Tittibhasana -- at least not within the context of Ashtanga -- but Thursday, all I managed was a desperate, painful clinging of a few fingers and today, not even that. I used my towel.

I don't quite understand it, but I've got loads of tension lingering in my neck and shoulders. I had that tension headache for days after the long drive home from Wisco and a little gremlin has been wandering from right trapezius to left every 2 days ever since. Don't get me wrong; the oil bath on Saturday was magical, my feet and legs feel completely renewed, but the neck and shoulders are still a little messed up.

And, while it's true that I have been indulging more than usual in the food realm, I haven't been eating that much... so why does my belly look distended? It feels as though my metabolism has slowed to a crawl and my entire torso has been inflated. I think I'll blame the weather.

Primary Friday: Where's my Cookie?

2011-12-09T19:22:00.001-06:00

I did it. It wasn't pretty, but I did it.

This has been a hard week. I am really so astonished at how drastically my practice has been affected by... well... By what exactly? I'm not sure. It's got to be the combination. I've gone periods of time on minimal practice, I've put on a little extra weight here and there, and I've certainly gone astray in the dietary realm at least a few times in the past, but I can't think of a single thing that's impacted my practice so badly as the trifecta of stress, sedentary days, and rich foods that have taken over my life these past few weeks.

Fortunately, gimpy as I've been all week, the Ashtanga has helped me get back on track and moving forward. Income has been secured. Personal projects are well in hand. Relationship confusion has faded to the background and food choices are more rational by the day. Don't you worry about me, friends. I'm on top of this.

Primary today was nice. The weather was moist and warmer here and I kept a steady pace, so the heat was more than adequate. I worked up a good, clean sweat. Stayed an extra breath in some of the forward bends, namely Ardha Baddha Padma and Trianga Mukaikapada because there was some serious work to be done in the hips and hamstrings. Binding is still an issue, so the Marichyasanas are a compromise. My shoulders are unbearably locked up and my back is feeling funny. I assumed both of these issues were caused by the driving, but if a week of practice hasn't fixed them, I'm not so sure.

Occasionally on Fridays, I like to do some alternative backbending work in leu of drop backs. Today, I did 9 rounds of Urdhva Dhanurasana in sets of three for five breaths each, giving extra focus to the rotation of the arms and legs. Then a final round for fifteen breaths without coming down, walking the hands in every five breaths. This was good work. I really felt it in my quads and psoas at the end.

I am whole-body sore from the return to full practice. I've been working myself hard on the mat and spending almost every other minute at my desk, a dichotomy which undoubtedly contributes to the soreness. Tomorrow will be a welcome rest. I have a feeling things will feel very different on Sunday.

So... practice week completed. Where's my cookie?

Asana of the Week: Padangusthasana

2011-12-08T22:05:00.001-06:00

Padangusthasana (Foot Big Toe Pose) is a nice forward bending posture which makes use of the connection made between the hands and feet to engage the arms and legs. The physical connection here keeps the energy circulating within the body so that what appears, at first glance, to be a sleepy forward fold is all lit up with prana.

As the first posture in the Ashtanga standing series, Padangusthasana lengthens the hamstrings, releases the backbody, and encourages gentle extension of the cervical spine in preparation for more the core-intensive forward bending of the remainder of the series.

Alternate view

Prepare for Padangusthasana standing with the feet planted at hip's distance. Bend down and take your big toes with the first two fingers and thumb in yogi toe lock, bending your knees as much as necessary to make this toe lock possible. Keep the wrists lifted and the bandhas engaged.

With an inhalation pull your arms straight, lengthen your spine and look forward. Exhale to fold, bending at the hips to keep the spine long. Fire up the quadriceps to lift the kneecaps and encourage the hamstrings to release. Lift your shoulders toward your waist to make space for the neck to extend. Feel the crown of your head coming closer to the floor with every exhalation and bend your elbows straight out to the sides as you gaze softly down the tip of your nose. Stay for 5-10 breaths.

Dream Big

2011-12-07T13:22:00.001-06:00

I had a dream last night that I could bind and balance easily in Pasasana.

image source

But even in my dreams, my heels are nowhere near the floor.

Ouch

2011-12-06T21:23:00.001-06:00

My body is teaching me some hard lessons this week, mostly concerning the consumption of beer and ice cream. In spite of my inability to get my nutrition back on track after spending the Thanksgiving holiday with family, I had hoped to jump right back into Intermediate on Sunday. But after an honest evaluation of Saturday's Primary performance, moving forward seemed unwise.

I took it one pose at a time and practiced full 1st plus 2nd to Ardha Matsyendrasana. It was the longest practice I've done in a while, but I badly needed every bit of it. The backbends weren't as hard as I had feared, but jump backs are still completely AWOL and I haven't bound Marichy D in a week. I don't have a scale, so I can't be sure, but I feel like I'm carrying an extra seven pounds and all of it in the belly.

Ever since the drive back from Wisconsin, my mind has felt much better but my body is falling apart. In addition to the expanded waistline, the right side of my back is flaring up from an old injury and both shoulders are threatening revolt. My neck is tense, my hips are tight, and somehow I've got what feels like a shin splint on the left side. It's a mystery. Or not. I've been dealing with some extra stress and the short days of the season make me anxious. We've had cold, dark rain in Austin for the past few days which compels us all to stay inside. On top of that, the practice has been relatively sparse and since I am not yet teaching yoga anywhere, I am spending a lot more time writing at my less-than-ergonomic desk. All these things are weighing in and I really feel unwell.

Yesterday I didn't practice, and since I don't have to justify myself to you, I won't. But I got back on the horse today and tackled Intermediate... sort of. It was hard. Really hard. I probably shouldn't have bothered. Pasasana was bound on neither side. Krounchasana was an eyebrow raiser and Kapotasana a struggle as I clawed my way to my pinkie toes and hung on for dear life. By this point in the practice, the urge to purge was ever present. I didn't even attempt the actual the LBH postures, instead opting for exclusively reclining variations for fear my spine would snap under the pressure. Even the bind in Tittibhasana was accomplished only with the aid of a towel. Pincha took at least 5 attempts with just as many tumbles. I'm in rare form, friends. Rare form, indeed.

But you know what? It was one of the best Savasanas I've had in a while. I lingered. I focused and felt real release. Of course, I'm glad I practiced. But tomorrow, it's Primary -- at least the first half -- before jumping into any Intermediate.

Primary Saturday: Syncopation and The Rain

2011-12-03T16:55:00.001-06:00

Practice was irregular throughout the two weeks at my parents house in chilly, rural Wisconsin. It's always difficult to keep up the routine during travel, but even more so when that travel involves reuniting with family and friends I have the fortune to visit just once or twice a year. Old habits take over and I find myself in a string of big, hearty meals, long, lazy afternoons, and some very late wine-soaked nights.

Add to that a touch of recklessness and a big ol' schmear of insomnia and you'll understand that practice was necessarily whittled down to the essential.

No regrets. But two weeks of debauchery bookeneded by a pair of 20-hour drives has taken its toll. The dog and I returned to Austin Thursday. Jet lagged from the drive (is that even possible?), I failed to summon the energy Friday to do more than a minimal practice (10 Surya and the final 3), so did my full Primary today. It was quite a shock.

I felt comically out of sync. No jump backs. Jump throughs were hit or miss. No binding in Marichyasana D. I've had a tension headache since we hit the road on Wednesday, somehow related to the muscle pull I inflicted upon myself shortly after my arrival in the Midwest. The whole right neck/upper back/shoulder area is afflicted, but I'm surprised the headache hasn't faded yet, especially now that I've had a chance to sleep and do my practice. I am still using the arnica cream, which does seem to have some effect on my range of motion without discomfort but, overall, I am not impressed with its performance.

The day is grey and rainy here which makes it especially hard to get moving. Almost failed to drag myself away from my favorite chair and a good book, but I'm glad I practiced. Intermediate will be interesting tomorrow.

End Scene.

2011-12-02T08:55:00.001-06:00

Distance seems to be a great solution for the desperation and delusion. That, or there's something in the air up there in Wisconsin because as soon as I passed into Iowa, I felt better. Entirely in possession of my faculties. All systems go. I drove the 1300 miles home in high spirits and held my mula bandha the whole way.

What I've learned from this most recent episode is that, while I'm a pro at letting go (fluent in the "fuck it"), I have a lot of trouble not grasping for it in the first place, whatever "it" may be. And yes, I have many theories and I've drawn many connections between this experience and the Ashtanga but I hesitate to elaborate, lest I be known as the crazy, obsessive Ashtangi.

But it may be too late for that already, so here it goes:

The difference, energetically, from 1st to 2nd series is significant. First series is scrappy. Second series is sexy. I feel the practice in my pelvis. At the risk of sounding dirty, there's a lot of deep work at the root. In all of the extremes that 2nd series takes us through -- extreme backbending, extreme hip rotation, and extreme forward bending -- awareness of the root is key. Mula bandha anchors the extension of Kapotasana, traps the apana of Dwi Pada, and steadies the precarious walk of Tittibhasana.

I think I mentioned this a week or so ago, but Titti really turns me on. More often than not after the exit, I feel hot and high, as though all my blood is sloshing around in my pelvis and all the rest is really secondary. Pincha is a special challenge if I don't give myself a moment to level off. I've noticed this heightened root awareness since the split to 2nd in October. Though I had been practicing much of Intermediate in addition to Primary prior to this, there is definitely something distinctive about the effect of the backbends -- and, indeed, the practice as a whole -- independent of all the core warm-up that Primary provides. The sensation is rich and the body is still fresh. More mindpower is required to quell the reluctance.

Second series necessitates a heightened presence as we are asked to take the body to opposing ends without the slash-and-burn of 1st. Without that heat, we are called upon to draw from a deep, intuitive understanding of the body and a clear, attentive mind. Because we are not numbed by the rigors of Primary, Second series is more sensual. Second is also the more playful practice, and I am feeling this effect full-on. Spontaneous dancing. Fits of laughter. Bouts of mischief and good-natured antagonism. It's all there.

But enough about me. Let's talk about you.

How's your practice coming? Surviving the holidays? Ready for the new year? On that note, considering my recent meanderings into the realm of the ultra-personal, I'd like to know what you want to see from Damn Good Yoga in the coming year. Do you want more instructional/informational content? Videos? Features? Product reviews? Or are you quite content to read about my personal practice forevermore and see how my real-life neuroses manifest in text?

Raw

2011-11-29T12:06:00.001-06:00

That's the word. Everything is raw and red and open and I just can't trust my senses. I am compelled to write about it, but the discomfort is so great that I can't tell if I have an overshare problem or a vulnerability problem. Either way, it doesn't feel right.

Still, here I am, pecking away. I can't help it. I am blogger, hear me roar. Read it and writhe in it with me, but be careful not to catch the itch. I often wonder if I shouldn't start an anonymous blog for getting this incoherent sludge out of my system safely and quietly, but somehow the idea seems dishonest. This is what the practice is for, navigation of the mind shit. The emotional shit. The family shit and the relationship shit. I was raised on a strategy of compartmentalization -- separation and obscurification -- but the yoga dissolves the dividers and the whole mess blends together in a petri dish of pain to be dealt with as a virus, growing or dying but never to remain the same.

And then there's the pendulumic swing to pleasure that happens now and then when I manage not only to let it go, but to hurl the toxic bomb with all my might at the nearest passing stranger. Bullseye. Take that and run with it, you schmuck! I'm outta here.

Obviously, there's instability. But it's about time. I haven't felt this rattled in years. It's been difficult to face my practice. Second series, especially, is scary in this condition. But this is just the occasional sharp corner on a long and windy road when the sun is down, the night is dim, and the rain has made the pavement slick. If I can keep my eyes on the road, everything will work out fine. In the meantime, if you don't mind the way I drive, you're invited along for the ride.

Asana of the Week: Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana

2011-11-28T09:53:00.001-06:00

Preparation

Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana

Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana is almost exactly like Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana except that the posture is seated. Because of this, the core muscles -- the spinal extensors and abdominals -- must work harder to create extension of the spine without the aid of gravity to draw one deeper into the pose.

The half-lotus position of the top leg releases the internal rotators of the hip as the heel applies pressure to the abdomen, massaging the vital organs with the breath. The binding of the arm opens the chest and shoulder, encouraging a feeling of extension and spaciousness in this forward bend rather than rounding or curling inward.

Care must be taken to protect the knees. Always use caution when folding the legs to a lotus or half-lotus position with special awareness on sensation at the joints. The effects of this posture should be felt at the hips and not in the knees or ankles. If discomfort is felt at the joints, practice a preparatory posture or modification instead. Stay for 5-10 breaths in your fullest expression and then repeat on the opposite side.

Primary Friday: A Problem-Solving Practice

2011-11-25T23:59:00.001-06:00

In the foreshadow of change, these quandaries and conundrums progenerate like rabbits as I turn my head to look the other way. Characteristically, distraction appears in a most disorienting form at a time when clarity is most especially essential. Uprooted from the solid earth of solitary life, the daily practice -- the in-the-moment-every-moment practice -- has been a special challenge. Not only do I miss my sacred space, but I yearn for the simplicity of progress on the path in an environment self-designed almost exclusively to facilitate my own success.

In my cave, seated on my cushion or sweating on my mat, there is nothing to distract me from my task. There is only quietness and space, the material manifestation of my earthly life nestled comfortably between the few things that I need and even fewer things I don't. In my natural setting, like the postures, I deal with the problems one by one. Typically, they come rolling in at a manageable pace, and I watch and breathe and watch and breathe and breathe until the answers just appear. They are reliably revealed through ascription to simplicity and nothing more.

As a sojourner, simplicity is all the more difficult and all the more necessary. The colorations of the mind cast my world in a seductive saturation until light and shadow, grade and shade, blend together in a garish landscape of needy neons and the oppressive almost-black of navy blues. It is tough to see the trueness of the road on the horizon or feel the nature of the ground beneath my feet, and so I work to gather bits of precious pleasure just in case I need to make a nest and rest along the way. But that's the fear, the choice, a fear of commitment equal to or greater than the natural fear of the unknown.

So now my mission is to tear myself away from the pleasure-center stimulation, to seal it up and feed the sacred root before it is strung out any further in search of nutrients and other lesser but supporting forms of life. I need work. I need burden. I need responsibility. I don't function well apart from that which grounds me.

And what's the answer? Practice: Primary, pranayama, meditation. These are the tried and true methods for balancing the prana with the apana, the winds of the body as the sanctuary of the mind. My body is my home and any attachments or associations to place and time and persons present are merely misperceptions. I will quiet the body, make space in the mind, and invite solutions to the surface.

Hormonalmindfuckexplosion!!!

2011-11-23T16:15:00.001-06:00

So... there's a reason I generally choose to avoid romantic involvement of any kind. I had forgotten what that reason was. I remember now.

Primary Friday: Ashtanga Love

2011-11-18T23:59:00.000-06:00

image source

This week's Primary was just as it should be -- light, fast, and fun. I have grown more accustomed to practicing in the cold and, for some reason, my hips have been freakishly open. I am enjoying an effortless lotus entry and some very deep Marichyasanas as a result.

The right shoulder is still tweaky, but not to the extreme that it was. This whole sad shoulder saga has made me rethink the way I move through the vinyasas, jump backs and jump throughs in particular. The weight-bearing in the left hand is always good, but in the right hand, I can feel myself lift up through the inner edge of the palm if I'm not careful to spread the weight evenly and keep the hand flat for the duration of the jump. Must be more careful to preserve the shoulders if I hope to tackle 3rd series one day.

Intermediate practice has been going extremely well, with the exception of the self-inflicted neck injury earlier this week. Eka Pada Sirsasana on the first side is finally feeling comfortable in the full expression of both A and B. Second side is a different story, but if it can happen on the right, it can happen on the left. I am a firm believer. Rather than just give it one shot and hope for the best, since my practice is relatively short for the time being (2nd to Pincha), I have been investing more time in research and preparatory postures for the LBH set. Half-pigeon, Lizard, Rock-the-Baby, Archer, and Compass variations have all made appearances in my practice this week. Even with just a few days of including this extra work, there is significantly more range of motion in both hips. I do lose some precious heat during this hip-opening detour, but I think it will be worth it in the long run... or the short run, as it were, assuming I can avoid any major setbacks in the LBH department.

Tittibhasana is my new favorite posture. I LOVE the way this pose makes me feel. It's a challenging set, but after the dismount, both psoas are unmistakably abuzz. Not to mention, it seems to be doing amazing things for the shape of my hips and thighs. I have no complaints in that department when it comes to Ashtanga. To put it frankly, my ass has never looked better. Hell, my body has never looked OR felt better. Ashtanga rocks!

The Routine

2011-11-18T09:25:00.000-06:00

Check out this cute Ashtanga infographic!

Asana of the Week: Prasarita Padottanasana

2011-11-17T18:13:00.001-06:00

This wide-legged forward bend is one of my favorite standing postures. It stretches the hamstrings, opens the hips, and activates the inner thighs while releasing the neck and spine. The effect on the upper body varies with the position of the arms, of which there are many. Not shown is a variation I like with the hands in reverse prayer which, in this progression, would fit best after C and before D to further open the shoulders if necessary.

While Prasarita Padottanasana is straightforward enough, one question many face is how far apart to set the feet. The distance between the feet is primarily dependent upon two characteristics specific to the individual practitioner: flexibility and height. If the hamstrings are so long and/or the stance is so wide that the crown of the head reaches the floor, then the feet should be brought closer together. If the head is nowhere near the floor because of tight hamstrings, step the feet an inch or two further apart to take some of the stretch out of the back of the legs.

Mindfully lift through the arches of the feet and the adductors of the inner thighs as you hold your weight squarely on all four corners of both feet. Be sure that the outer edges of the feet are parallel to the short edges of your mat and keep the quadriceps working to lift the knee caps. Let the muscles at the base of the neck be soft, using the spinal extensors, bandhas, and sides to progressively bring the crown a little closer to the floor with every breath. If a connection is made with the hands to the floor or part of the body, as in positions A and D, use the arms to deepen the posture and keep the energy circulating.

Inertia and Injury

2011-11-15T10:29:00.001-06:00

Ok, universe. I get it. Every time I build some steam, you spring a leak. Any time I get the fire going well and hot, you bring the rain.

It's as though I've been sucked into a state of inertia, a standstill, despite every natural impulse. The tapas are white hot and the truth is burning fiercely, but every time I make a move, a big wet blanket falls to take me down. I lost my love. I lost my job. I lost my independence. And just as I bent down to gather up the scattered fragments of my life, a heavy cosmic boot landed squarely on my ass to push me face down in the mud.

I pulled a muscle in practice yesterday. Badly. The first side of Eka Pada was so good that I came to the second side, my tighter side, with too much confidence and as I pressed my head back against my shin I felt an ominous inner shift. Normally, with this type of injury, I'll continue on with the practice, but this time it was different. I couldn't do much at all without pain, so I skipped ahead to finishing, omitting all drop backs, Sirsasana, and the vinyasas. This morning, I can barely turn my head from side to side, much less nod it up and down. I've had problems with this muscle group before, but it's never been this bad. I don't know how I'll practice until this pain goes away.

Yesterday, I drove 30 miles to the nearest health food store (which, in itself, was quite depressing...) to pick up some arnica cream and neti salts. I had high hopes for the arnica, but it's effect has been minimal. I fully intend to unroll the mat today, but practice is likely to be skeletal for at least a day or two which leaves me with even less to do out here by myself while the family is away. Clearly, this time is meant for rest and reflection. The way of things has left me little choice.

Primary Friday: Road Trip

2011-11-12T10:37:00.001-06:00

After the news of my grandmother's death on Tuesday, I felt called to be with my family. Without a job or other obligation, there was nothing to hold me back. On Thursday morning, I packed a bag, packed the dog, and drove straight up the nation from Austin to Wisconsin in one smooth motion. It's a long, beautiful drive north through the plains of middle America, so between the moments of awe and soulful appreciation, I had a ton of time to think.

Where do I go from here? Do I look for work teaching? Should I go back to school? Or do I take the divine hint and skip town in search of bigger and better things? I'm not sure. It's exciting to have this much freedom, so many options and seemingly endless possibilities. It's the proverbial "crossroads." Here I stand, facing the fork in the road. I'm glad to be home, surrounded by those close to my heart as I ponder these big questions. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful network of support within my family. In spite of all the ways in which we disagree, they have always been there for me and for that I am eternally grateful.

Between formulations of my future, there was ample time during the drive to practice counting the Primary series in Sanskrit. It was a perfect way to fend off the highway hypnosis. I led my imaginary students through the practice from Surya to Savasana, calling the postures and counting the vinyasas in real time. It was amazing how vividly I could see and even feel the practice in my own body from start to finish while still strapped in my chair. That Primary practice, it seems to have been etched in my DNA.

Naturally, the practice schedule has been interrupted with the moon day and travel. I was on the road all day on Thursday and half the day Friday. By the time the dog and I arrived at our destination, neither of us cared to do much but lie around and bask the in the affection of the family, so the weekly Primary was pushed back to Saturday.

It's colder here. The house is drafty and even with a space heater placed near my mat, it's hard to stay warm. In spite of this, I had a really nice Primary. I thought my hips and hammies might have seized up from all the driving, but was surprised at the openness I found instead. My shoulder, both shoulders actually, are still acting up, though the discomfort is less sharp than it was. I wonder if it's got something to do with the 2nd series practice working around the joints in a different way. I have been feeling a new stretch deep within the shoulders in Kapotasana and I wonder now what the relationship is between that stretch and the sensitivity I've had there for the past couple of weeks. Could it be an opening? Let's hope so.

As I type this post, I am trying to psych myself up for my first Intermediate practice since Wednesday. I want the practice, but I don't want the cold. It's so hard to get started when the chill drives deep down into the bone, I can barely muster the courage to disrobe to change into my practice apparel. It's like taking a cold shower, the initial plunge is the hardest part.

A Beautiful Death

2011-11-08T10:58:00.000-06:00

I have an elderly neighbor, a little old man in a wheelchair for lack of both legs from the knees down. His eyes are sunk, his skin is ashen, and his voice is barely there. He lives alone. Meals on Wheels brings him the occasional sustenance and his daughter stops by from time to time and yells to him through the door, "ARE YOU OKAY, DAD? YOU NEED ANYTHING?" As if he could project his voice enough to answer. I would often see him parked in his chair across from the dumpsters in the parking lot with a plastic bag of trash on his lap, just hoping for someone to come by and toss it in for him. I had the honor once or twice.

Last night he died. This, in itself, was no surprise. He was very, very old and seemed content in his approach to the end, but the events that followed were fascinating and unsettling to watch. There was no ceremony, no reverence or care for his life or remains. His body was taken away, his chair thrown in the dumpster along with what seemed to be everything else. A woman and her preteen daughter callously gutted the old man's home and hauled armfuls of stuff -- blankets, appliances, pillows, shelves -- and threw them straight away. It was a hurried process, no time for memories, no setting aside of special mementos to save for those who may have loved the old man. Everything went to the trash. I have never seen another's life so unfeelingingly discarded. It was as if they could not finish the work fast enough. Let's clear this shit out so we can get back to our frozen pizza and TV!

My grandmother is dying. She's been dying for weeks. I have received no fewer than 5 text messages in the last month from family asking me to "pray" because "today's the day." And yet she lives on in a state of surrender, waking every day and simply waiting for the end. Loved ones huddle, tense and expectant around the bed, wishing her well on her journey, thinking every breath will be her last. Well-intentioned bible quotations pepper the family facebook pages, as she seems to be using her last gasps of strength to check her facebook feed. My 21st century grandma...

This woman has been an influential force in my life. She has always played the mighty matriarch, with a sharp tongue and a fierce eye for imperfection. Her deceased husband left her a good deal of money which she has never been shy about flaunting. For as long as I can remember, she has driven the latest model, carried the latest phone, and stocked her home with the latest console and video games with which to impress and entertain her many grandchildren.

She travelled extensively, often selecting a relative to accompany her as her companion. One summer at the tender age of 14, in a post-pubescent body with a pre-pubescent mind, I had the pleasure of accompanying her on a cross-country jaunt via the railroads. I remember her presenting me as an object of admiration to random men along the way, "Isn't she thin? Isn't she lovely?" It was awkward. And what could they do but nod and smile, these middle-aged men under interrogation by this fearsome old bird for their opinions of her unwilling and underaged debutante?

Nonetheless, I took her behavior as a directive. I ate less and less, and I made myself... ahem... available. I returned from that trip a different person, my naivete dissolved by the ugly alkaline of judgment and lies. My mind, for the next few years, would be completely dominated by preoccupation with my own attractiveness, both in absolute and relative terms, and the conquest of men. My grades and relationships suffered, but in that pain, I found my art.

Profound discomfort in my own body spawned a work of poetry quite vast in which my soul could rest. With my sexual awakening, a valve was opened and the words purged onto the page. I understood that beauty arises from affliction, and I became attached to the pain, the source of my art. I clutched it closely to my bossom. I stared into it, I stroked it, I fed it precious morsels. I worshipped it and prayed that it would stay.

But pain does not stay. It fades away to nothing as the heart refuses anymore to feel. The mind is left with little but the vague impression of an old sensation, the imprint of an expired state of being. When this nothingness became unbearable, I went in search of new extremes, new ways to stretch my capacity for discomfort in the hopes of dislodging some last line of inspiration from which a whole new era of art (beauty) might spring. Homelessness, poverty, harmful habits, and tattoos -- these are just some of the ways I sought to shake the frame. Yoga ended this cycle.

And KABLAM!! There it is. The yoga connection. In the complexity of life, yoga is the simple solution. It teaches us how to feel, how to experience the richness of existence without becoming a slave to the sensation. Through the practice of yoga -- real yoga (oh, SNAP! Yes, I said it.) -- we learn to keep the channels open so that we may perceive the fullness of both art and ugliness. More importantly, we begin to understand the relationship between the two.

Primary Friday: Life is a Blessing

2011-11-06T15:19:00.002-06:00

This week's Primary Friday post is late because I wanted to let the previous post sit for a bit, but now let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

This week's Friday practice was my first Primary after a whole week of cutting it from my regular practice. Instead of staying home, I visited a teacher friend's led Primary and practiced to the Sanskrit count. It was nice to hear the count again but all of this, coupled with the cold turn of the weather had me feeling out of sorts. Old injuries are flaring up as the chill sets in. Twisting and forward bending are not fun. My right shoulder is still bugging me off and on, and it was predictably aggravated by the Primary practice. All those goddamn jump backs...

Swenson and Shelley, among others, have tried to teach me the straight-armed jump back which relies more on momentum than strength, but I can't seem to do it. The only jump back I'm capable of is sort of a slow lift and press with the elbows serving as the primary fulcrum instead of the shoulders. It's exhausting unless you get it just right, and even then it takes a lot of work. One thing David said that has really made a difference, though, is that when the legs cross for the jump back, the top leg is active and the bottom leg is passive. It seems so simple, so obvious, but when done with awareness, it really does make the whole process much cleaner and more precise.

Just before I was fired, I decided to congratulate myself on the completion of my training with some yoga goodies. I ordered a couple of mysore rugs, an eye pillow, and a stack of books. Even though I really can't afford them now that I've got no income, I'm sort of glad I made the purchases when I did because, between resume submissions, I have nothing but time to read, study, and do my practice.

Last night I finished reading Krishnamacharya: His Life and Teachings by A.G. Mohan, one of Krishnamacharya's longest standing students. What a beautiful book! Mr. Mohan recounts the history of Krishnamacharya as both a student and a teacher, and divides the rest of the book into succinct commentaries on various topics that are all rich with nuggets of wisdom from the father of modern yoga. Mr. Mohan's dedication and affection for his teacher are clearly communicated through the text. The span and evolution of their relationship as recounted by Mr. Mohan is quite moving. I certainly set this book down with a much clearer understanding of Krishnamacharya's influence and a greater appreciation for his efforts.

Nitya Mohan, A.G.'s daughter, began to learn the Vedic chants from her father at the age of 4. Here she is to usher the good vibes back to Damn Good Yoga:

Next on the reading list? What else?? Guruji!

What is Yoga? And Why that Question got me Fired.

2011-11-04T16:24:00.000-05:00

Last night, I was fired from my job at Black Swan Yoga for a fundamental difference of opinion. I was ambushed, lured there to discuss my "schedule" and then tag-teamed by a pair with a yoga sutra tattooed on one and a chakra tattooed on the other. (Oh, the irony!) Together, they released me from my duties for standing by my published opinion that asana exists independent of the yoga. I say intention matters. Apparently, they disagree.

One needn't look far to find the basis of my argument. It's right there in the second sutra: "Yoga is the suspension of the fluctuations of the mind (Yoga Sutra I.2)." Beyond that, I know it from experience. I have, many times in my life, practiced asana without the yoga to address discomfort in the body. I think it's safe to say I'm not the only one. Asana is what draws people to the yoga, asana prepares the mind; as my teacher says, "asana makes the ground fertile" for the real yoga to take place, but asana in itself, without the breath, without the meditation, is just exercise. Just gymnastics.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Exercise is good. Regardless of intention, be it noble or vain, asana is healthy and has the potential to make this world a better place. It draws us in with the promise of a better body, reduced pain, or stress release. Sometimes, it has a way of opening the mind in reciprocation to the body. But not always. And that's okay, but it isn't yoga.

Now, I would never point a finger and say that this person or that person is or is not doing yoga because how would I know? It is neither my place nor is it in my capacity to judge the intention behind another's practice. But that doesn't change the truth. Yoga is an internal practice. Yoga is a breathing practice. Yoga is a devotional practice. What it IS NOT is a bunch of people checking their iPhones between asanas and sweating on each other while the instructor screams an arbitrary flow over classic rock.

I admit that I have been dealing with a high degree of inner conflict over my identification as a "yoga teacher," particularly in a position which had me instructing students in a style of asana that I neither practice nor believe in. Hypocritical of me, I know. I justified the situation to myself for many months by holding on to the idea that flow yoga is derived from Ashtanga, that somehow there remained a solid link, a lineage, a strategy, a system, but I was wrong. I am relieved to have arrived at a place of reconciliation with my principles.

And now the metamorphosis is complete. I have become the crusty old Ashtangi, driven further and further into my lonely little niche. And, damn it, I stand by this system and what I know to be true: asana is the playground, meditation is the practice.

Primary Attachment and Teacher Appreciation

2011-11-02T10:11:00.000-05:00

Giving up Primary is going to be harder than I thought. I have come to realize over these past few days that, in spite of any desire I may or may not have had to move on to 2nd series, I am deeply attached to the way Primary makes me feel. I miss the heat. I miss the stretch. And I miss the work of all the jump backs. In fact, I miss it so much that, last night, I defaulted to 1/2 Primary plus Intermediate to Pincha instead of going straight into 2nd series.

I don't intend to do this every day. Shelley told me not to for the sake of my shoulders and I believe she's right, but there's something about the effort of Primary that feels so grounding and real, whereas, with 2nd, the work sort of sneaks up on me all quiet-like. There's just so much raging prana from all the backbends that the fatigue doesn't set in until I emerge like a dirty dish rag from Tittibhasana, shriveled and wet.

I didn't even notice how much strength had built up in my legs from Titti and the kneeling backbends until yesterday when I put the drop backs back into my practice (haven't been dropping back this week because of the shoulder, which was feeling much better last night). After just one preparatory drop back -- slow and controlled, with several breaths in the hang -- I managed 3 smooth, unbroken drop backs in a row (haven't done that since before the biopsy). Then three half-backs and a very deep final backbend, which I stood from unassisted without a wobble. All in all, it was one of the better rounds of finishing backbends I can remember and I attribute that to the power 2nd series demands of the thighs.

And then there's Pincha. I am having a hell of a time with Pincha in my practice. Every day, I lay out the floor pillows at the top of my mat (don't laugh; the floor in my apartment is really hard), and every day I tumble, again and again. BUT, however many tumbles it takes, I keep trying until I stick one for 5 breaths, which I have managed to do every day. You might think all this crashing over would be disheartening, but, on the contrary, it is so freeing to be able to fall, to be liberated from the wall and to know that my efforts, regardless of my ability to balance, are tearing down the walls of fear for a much-needed renovation of the inner space. This is the best kind of work and I feel privileged to have come this far.

It probably goes without saying, but those three weeks with David and Shelley have given my practice a complete overhaul. Lightbulbs are flashing at random and I am only just now hearing some of what he said. David's guidance on the breath completely changed the way I feel. His pointers on economy of movement and continuum of motion have pushed my energy levels through the roof. My aversion to the mat is gone, having been replaced with renewed enthusiasm and a wide-eyed appreciation for the potential of each and every practice.

I am filled with love and gratitude for my teachers.

Battle of the Yogis

2011-11-02T08:11:00.003-05:00

Moral of the story? Honor your teachers, honor the practice, and honor the process with patience and respect.

Thanks, Selena!

Practice Report: 2nd Series and Shoulder Woes

2011-10-31T10:30:00.000-05:00

Last night, I returned to home practice for the first time in three weeks. After all that luxurious Mysore-style during the Swenson TT, with a teacher standing by at all times to assist, home practice feels like a lot of work.

Coracobrachialis shown in purple

I've been nursing a tweaked right shoulder since Friday, and yesterday morning it started to feel worse. I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to practice at all and spent the day analyzing exactly what type of actions caused me pain. Internal rotation of the arm coupled with either a downward push or an upward pull triggers acute discomfort. When the muscle feels especially inflamed, it is also painful to lift the arm at certain angles. A bit of research has revealed that this is probably my coracobrachialis acting up from habitual inward rotation of the right arm. Mindful attention to the sensation there for the last couple of days has provided me with a good amount of feedback regarding all the little things I do throughout the day that place unnecessary strain on that shoulder.

While it is uncomfortable and sometimes frustrating to deal with injury, it is these periods of self-healing that reveal the most to me about my body and the way I carry myself. I have always emerged from minor muscular injury with greater awareness and therefore, a cleaner, lighter practice. When the body talks, I listen. I just wish it would speak up a little sooner.

After icing the shoulder for a bit in the evening, I decided to roll out the mat and see what I could do, figuring I'd probably do a few Surya Namaskara, the final 3 finishing postures, and call it a night. But by the third Surya A, my shoulder felt loose and my body was pumped so full of prana that nothing could have stopped me from going on. It turned out to be my first full big-girl 2nd series practice at home. And it was fantastic.

Pasasana and Krounchasana are a jolt without all that 1st series warm-up. I had a tough time binding and balancing Pasasana since my heels are nowhere near the floor, but I didn't want to wrench the shoulder, so I settled for an unbound expression with a rolled towel under the hovering heels. Krounchasana is flat-out intense on the hams and glutes as the first forward bending posture of the sequence, but after that, it was smooth sailing through the backbends. Despite the relatively cold room (I checked: it was only 70 degrees when I rolled out the mat), I had a clean, drenching sweat going by Dwi Pada.

Dwi Pada is a circus, by the way, without someone to assist. I gave it my best, but truthfully, until my left leg will stay comfortably behind me in Eka Pada, I think I'll be skipping Dwi Pada for a longer stay in Yoganidrasana to help me get there on my own. My hips are opening nicely. It's only a matter of time.

Tittibhasana is no problem. I am still refining the walk. It is difficult to coordinate the body and breath for those big steps forward and back, but the rest of the Titti set is under control. I like that I get to practice both expressions of the Titti arm balance -- with the hips lifted, legs parallel to the floor for the first round and with the butt dropped and legs up for the 5 breaths before the exit.

Pincha Mayurasana is where things get complicated. I'm not supposed to use the wall to which, I admit, I have allowed myself to become rather attached. I can balance just fine on my forearms after a bit of wobbling and toeing the wall, but without that initial bit of stabilization, I have a tendency to go up and over. During the Swenson TT, there was always someone there to stick an arm out just in case. Sometimes I needed it, sometimes not. At home, however, there's nothing and no one to prevent me from going over, so Pincha becomes a mind game. Last night, I faced the problem by laying out floor pillows at the top of my mat so that, if I fell, I wouldn't come down on the unforgiving floor. After several half-assed 'fraidy cat kicks, I finally went for it with conviction, kamikaze-style. As it turned out, I didn't fall but suspect that, in the coming weeks, I will. And I had better get comfortable with the idea. Once I manage to get over the fear factor of Pincha, it's on to Karandavasana, where I expect to be stuck for quite some time.

I really do enjoy this 2nd series practice. It has a totally different feel without all that exhausting Primary beforehand, so much lighter and more energetic. Somehow, the whole practice took an hour and forty-five minutes last night even though I focused on a circular, unbroken breath as David instructed (which really has made an enormous difference in my energy levels), but that's still a good deal shorter than my previous Primary + Intermediate routine. The relative brevity and playfulness of the Intermediate antics is liberating. I am excited to endeavor in this new phase of practice.

Asana of the Week: Upavishta Konasana

2011-10-30T09:20:00.000-05:00

Upavishta Konasana (Seated Angle Pose) is a beautiful seated posture that strengthens and lengthens the torso as it promotes increased circulation and good health of the pelvic region. Gregor Maehle claims this posture balances the flow of pranic and apanic energy in the body (Ashtanga Yoga: Practice & Philosophy), and BKS Iyengar promotes this posture as a "boon to women" for it's ability to regulate menstrual flow and "stimulate the ovaries" (Light on Yoga).

There are two phases to this posture, the first of which is pictured above, wherein the back of the legs and the front of the torso are laid on the floor. In this phase, the feet should be flexed with the toes and knees pointing straight up to achieve the desired rotation of the legs. Spread the legs as wide as possible while maintaining a firm grip on the feet. Keep the back body long and melt the heart toward the floor. If the chest is resting comfortably on the floor, lift the gaze to take the chin down rather than the forehead to promote further forward extension.

After 5 breaths in position A, inhale to lengthen and lift the head, then exhale to fold toward the floor with the purpose of creating momentum so that, with the next inhale, you roll up to balance on the sitting bones with the legs spread wide in position B. Try to maintain your grip on the feet through this transition. If it is not possible keep hold of the feet (which is the reality for most of us), you may release the feet and lift your straight legs to meet the hands at the top of the roll. Once your grip is established, point the feet and lift your gaze to the sky. Remain in position B for 5 deep breaths.

For those lacking in flexibility, it is preferable in position A to bend the knees rather than allow the back to round. However, in position B it is best to keep the legs straight even if that means holding on to the big toes or calves instead of the edges of the feet. Ground into the sitting bones to lift from the crown of the head. Feel the heart open and expansive as you press the legs wide and plug the arm bones into their sockets.

Primary Friday: Dispersal

2011-10-28T23:59:00.000-05:00

Today was the final day of training, so this week's Primary was special and sad. David practiced with us, conducting the series with nothing but the occasional "inhale" here or "enter" there. The breath was exquisitely beautiful, and I had the special privilege of practicing at his right hand. Immediately after practice, he led us all through the chanting and pranayama one last time. My insides have been liquified by the experience. No doubt this will go down as one of my most memorable times on the mat.

This training with David and Shelley has been a bright and clear point of focus through the chaos of the last few months. In the ecstatic rebound of the cancer scare ordeal, the impending nature of this program kept me mindful in my practice, and when the high began to fade, it kept me coming to the mat. Now that it's over, I feel shaken by the lack of drishte but excited to observe the change. Already, my classes have taken on a different tone. They are quieter, more trusting and more focused on the breath. And my practice, while still a beast, has become a softer animal, swift-footed and light.

Oh. And I've been told to make the split. No more Primary for me. David and Shelley don't want me bulking up my shoulders any more than they already are, and Shelley thinks my body would be well-served by Intermediate. I spoke with her yesterday, and apparently they had both been wondering behind the scenes why I hadn't made the split already. I expressed concern about my need for the hip opening of Primary and my relative newness to the practice, but Shelley assured me that I'm ready and said I should focus on opening my hips outside of the Ashtanga. And, of course, there's always Friday.

Post-biopsy and pre-training, I had built my practice back to Kapotasana after being unable to bend either forward or backward for nearly two weeks. During that time, practice consisted almost solely of modified Sun Salutations, lateral movements and gentle twists. Over the course of these past two weeks in the second level training, I have gone through the land of Legs-Behind-Head and the Insect Infestation to Pincha Mayurasana. And now I face the steep climb of Karandavasana by myself. This is going to be fun.

Shelley gave me some good pointers for facing Karandavasana alone, the first of which was NOT to use a wall. I am to practice my inverted lotus in headstand before attempting from Pincha. If my knees don't like it, I can practice with a legs-crossed type of modification. I should work on the lowering process in increments, coming down only part way and then hauling it back up. This all sounds well and good in theory, but we'll see how it goes in practice. I foresee many a face plant in my future.

Tomorrow is a rest day and I intend to spend it thoroughly cleaning my home, getting grounded and re-established in my responsibilities so that I may share what I've learned from a place of clarity and stability.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

2011-10-28T15:39:00.001-05:00

Thanks to David for passing this along!

Self-Centered: The Narcissistic Cult of Yoga

2011-10-25T22:14:00.000-05:00

This afternoon, I was sitting in an ice cream shop with David Swenson (true story!), his wife Shelley, and a bunch of rowdy Ashtangis and we were all chatting it up over sundaes. The topic turned to an emerging trend of disrespect among yoga practitioners for each other, the space, and for the teachers (I should mention that David was not personally engaged in this conversation).

A few of us theorized reasons for this trend, commiserating as we alternately nodded and shook our heads. I proposed two reasons for this dissolution of reverence in modern yoga: 1) Very few teachers have any prerequisites for their students to meet in order to begin study. Anyone with enough cash can buy the teacher's time. 2) There is a gaping hole in Western yoga culture's understanding of the idea of "the self."

It is a popular thing to say, "you are perfect as you are." We believe in self-love. Self-affirmation. Self-appreciation. Self-acceptance. Self. Self. Self. Self. Self. We do yoga to do something good for ourselves. Forget service! This is me-time. My time. Time to spend time with me. To do what serves me best. The kicker is that these slogans and buzzwords are right. The true self is perfect, but in order to embrace the self, identification with things or ideas that are not "the self" must be severed.

But we here in LuluLand like to skip that part and head straight for the self-worship. Why? Because it tastes good and it goes down easy. What's that you say? I'm perfect as I am? Well then, *wipes hands* my work here is done. It's no wonder students don't show respect to their teachers; not only are they not at all familiar with the history or foundation of the practice, they think they have nothing to learn, except when it comes to asana where the shortcomings are glaringly obvious.

This is the reason teachers who can do crazy shit with their bodies are the ones who attract the most students. I'm not saying that's entirely wrong, because the ones who can do crazy shit are usually the same ones who have dedicated their lives to the practice, but I do think that the way yoga culture is developing presently makes it harder and harder for teachers, senior or otherwise, to make a living and be discriminating so that sincere yoga study may advance. The role of teacher has devolved and the foundations of the practice have been shaken.

What we need is a healthy dose of ego obliteration to remind us of how much we have to learn. Readers: what are your thoughts? Does Western yoga culture need an etiquette injection?

Asana of the Week: Baddha Konasana

2011-10-22T20:12:00.000-05:00

Baddha Konasana (Bound Side Angle) and its many variations are a mainstay of my personal practice and a frequent feature in my classes. This posture has loosened my low back, lengthened my adductors, and opened my hips for the practice of Padmasana (Lotus Pose).

Also known as Cobbler's Pose because it depicts the manner in which Indian cobbler's sit, Baddha Konasana is said to eliminate and prevent diseases of the urinary tract and reproductive organs. Regular practice may also bring relief from sciatic pain and prevent hernia.

Baddha Konasana stretches the quadriceps and inner thighs as it contracts the deep external rotators of the hip. In forward bending variations of the pose, the quadratus lumborum and piriformis are given a deep release, while in the upright variation shown above, the rectus abdominis, spinal extensors, and quadratus lumborum work in careful coordination to maintain the natural curve of the spine against a strong temptation to round the low back.

In the practice of this posture, use your hands to turn the soles of the feet up as you engage your glutes to pull the knees toward the floor. With your hands connected to your feet and the arms held straight, engage the muscles of the back to draw your shoulders back and down. This action creates a pull on the feet encouraging greater external rotation of the legs and a deeper expression of the posture.

Primary Friday: Homecoming

2011-10-21T22:51:00.001-05:00

Wow. Where shall I begin?

Week 2 of the Swenson TT is over and I am absolutely swimming in Ashtanga. From 7:30 in the morning to 5 o'clock at night, I'm in training. We practice asana and pranayama in the morning, pairing up for asana practice -- one plays the student, the other the teacher, then we switch. After that, the whole group convenes for pranayama before we break for lunch. Post-lunch, we study the Sanskrit count, followed by 2nd series postures and adjustments in the afternoon. After that, I go home to review my notes and/or listen to Sharath's led Primary DVD until I fall asleep to dream sweet dreams of Ashtanga until morning comes, when it starts all over again.

David and Shelley are really hitting all the bases. First thing this morning, they taught us how to do nauli kriya, or "navel cleansing." It's not as hard as it looks. (Try it! Let the always lovely Kiki show you how.)

This afternoon, David showed us some gentle bodywork techniques to help students complaining of back and neck pain. Next week, the philosophical discussions begin and there has been talk of karma yoga.

Today, I led my first student through Primary to the traditional Sanskrit count. This Sanskrit study has taken me well outside of my comfort zone. At first exposure, the logic of it was confounding. I realized that I have never been to a counted led class, so it was difficult to follow the rhythm. However, now that I've had some time to chew on it, I like the way it feels in my mouth. Literally. The Sanskrit language has a sweet, rich sound and a satisfying texture. I really enjoy leading the practice with the count, the sound is soothing and seems to enhance the meditation... that is, unless I'm stumbling over the next number. Luckily, I've got some time to practice before my next crack at it on Sunday.

It has been fun to take my practice further into Intermediate again. With David's permission, I have been doing the standing series in its entirety and then moving straight into 2nd rather than splitting at Parsvottanasana, as per the tradition. I just can't give up all that hip opening work in the latter half of standing, it is too terribly needed for the lotus postures later in the practice. And (who am I kidding?) I like to try my hand at those floaty transitions from Utkatasana and Virabhadrasana. More and more, they are feeling as I envision them to be.

As for Intermediate, on Monday, I practiced to Supta Vajrasana. Tuesday to Bakasana, Wednesday to Tittibhasana, and Thursday, I took it all the way to Pincha. Which, by the way, I balanced and held on the second attempt with nothing but the assurance of a spotter standing by. The exit was a different story: I could not for the life of me figure out how to find the lift to move my hands into position for the chaturanga landing. I came down in a forearm plank position, which was fine with me. Save the landing for another day.

For the first few days of practice, David was on me about my breath. I have a habit of dragging it out until I'm moving through the sequence like molasses. I thought I was justified -- if I could do it comfortably, then why not? Then he came by one day during Kapo to assist and, standing over me, made the comment that my breath in Kapo is how I should try to breathe throughout my practice. I laughed at the time, but that remark really put things in perspective. I instruct my students to "pump the breath" in big backbends to avoid the panicked, erratic breath that tries to take over. So now I'm trying to pump the breath a little more throughout my practice, not just elongating the breath but harnessing it completely. It's been interesting to bring even more emphasis to the breathing and it seems to have had a profound effect on my practice. It is much lighter, less exhausting, in part because I'm not spending quite as much time in each asana, but also because the energy seems to flow more freely when I avoid sitting in the pauses between the breath.

One of the things that has made this experience so incredible is the fact that David's book was my very first exposure to yoga, long before I had any notion of the distinction between the different "styles" or approaches to the practice. Fast forward ten years and a cross country move, and I find myself in Austin practicing Ashtanga just in time for David and Shelley to start travelling less and teaching here more. People have traveled here from all over the world to attend this intensive, the first of it's kind, and I just so happen to live 2 minutes away. It's been an interesting journey with a roundabout route from those first few uncertain Surya Namaskara ten years ago to now, but I feel as though he's been my teacher all along. The fact that Shelley is an excellent teacher in her own right, with a different but complementary perspective, is the icing on the cake. There are murmurs that they may someday establish a more permanent presence here in Austin... ahem hem.

I, for one, would be delighted if that were true.

Asana of the Week: Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana

2011-10-15T19:24:00.000-05:00

Starting position

Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana is a challenging sequence of standing balancing asanas and the apex of the arc of the standing sequence of Ashtanga yoga.

This family of postures strengthens the legs, back, abdominals, and hip flexors. Variation A lengthens the hamstrings of the lifted leg, and variation B opens the adductors. Variation C asks a great deal of the psoas and rectus abdominis of the lifted leg as it strengthens the glutes of the standing leg.

While these postures do require a great deal of activation, the biggest challenge is to remain present with the breath through transitions. Remember that drishte is your friend. It is the key to steady balance. Find a point that is not moving and rest your gaze there for the duration of your stay in the posture. Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana B is perhaps the most difficult variation because the dristhe must be taken to the side at the same time that the leg is moved. Think of the leg and head as being attached to the same hinge and simultaneously swing them both open. Try to prevent the ribs from flaring out and press the hip of the lifted leg down to keep the right and left sides long.

If the lifted leg, the standing leg, or both are unable to straighten completely, do not fold forward in Variation A. Rather, remain upright in the starting position with a slight bend to the knees. You may also release the toe, bend the knee of the lifted leg, and hold your knee with your hand as an introductory modification.

Below is a video of the Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana sequence in motion. In practice, each individual asana is held for five breaths, but for the purposes of brevity, I mark each position with one breath instead of the full five. Notice as you watch that balance does not equate to stillness. Balance is fluid and responsive to the moment. Do not be rigid in your postures. Let the prana flow.

Primary Friday: Nitpicked

2011-10-14T23:59:00.000-05:00

Practice today was led Primary with David Swenson with my own personal adjuster standing by to assist in any way. It was awkward to have someone step in and tweak every little posture whether I needed it or not, but despite the near constant adjustments and the watchful eyes of David and Shelley, I was surprised to find myself resting in the meditation for periods of time.

My practice has been completely picked apart this week and my attention brought to every little asymmetry and imperfection: my right side is shorter than my left from years of waiting tables, so my jump backs are crooked. My palms lift during Virabhadrasana A transitions and my back heel needs to spin down before the front foot steps forward. It's these little things that are truly maddening to address on the mat because I've been doing them every day. Without a teacher to walk by and occasionally give me a nudge in the right direction, these bad habits have become very deeply set. It has made for another jolting transition from home practice to a teacher's room, but it's all for the best.

Week 1 of three with Swenson is over. Tomorrow we break and reconvene on Sunday morning, bright and early, to kick off Level 2. The ground we've covered this past week has been thorough but basic. Next week is when things get really interesting. This program is divided into two "levels," the first of which I've just completed, and Level 2, which is two weeks of morning Mysore or led practice with an emphasis on building 2nd series, PLUS daily pranayama, philosophical teachings, and the traditional Sanskrit counts. Basically, it's going to be an all-day-every-day complete Ashtanga geekfest and I am SO excited to be attending!

I expect the group over the next two weeks to be smaller, but since this is the first time David and Shelley have offered this second-level training in the US, the students are likely to be more advanced and more diverse. I am curious to know if any of my teachers will be attending since a few of them got their start with David's Level 1 program. Wouldn't that be fun?

At home, late this afternoon, I unrolled my mat for a second practice of handstands and Pincha Mayurasana play for warm up, then backbends and drop backs aplenty to open my back after all of this Primary exploration. Then I sealed it off with reclining hip openers and one very deep Savasana. I haven't been doing much with handstands this year (which is ironic because, as I recall, taking my handstand away from the wall was one of my New Year's resolutions... hahaha... seems so silly to me now) but I have noticed the float coming more easily, so I've been playing with handstandy transitions in my practice. Suddenly the pretty Utkatasana and Virabhadrasana B exits are happening consistently with little-to-no flailing or falling to speak of. I am certain the pike pull-ups have something to do with this, they do amazing things to my QL and abs, especially the lower fibers.

I haven't decided yet if I will practice tomorrow. Normally, I'd rest, but I haven't done my Intermediate postures since... let me check my calendar... October 5th. So I might want to touch on those again before Sunday to take stock of what I'm bringing with me to the training, if for no other reason than to compare the difference when training is done.

Sthira Sukham Asanam

2011-10-11T23:59:00.000-05:00

As I pulled out of the studio parking lot this afternoon to head home after training, it occurred to me how incredibly lucky I am. Today was just the fourth day of these three weeks with Swenson and, already, my understanding of Ashtanga has evolved so much.

We (the students) are teaching more and more of the practice each day. David is handing us bits of Primary from either end, beginning with standing and finishing, then moving toward the middle. Tomorrow morning, we will lead a partner through an entire half-Primary practice (to Navasana). I had wondered, heading into this experience, how well a regular practice of Ashtanga would translate to teaching ability, particularly since teaching Vinyasa turned out to be so much harder than I could have anticipated despite any number of countless hours I had spent on the mat myself. Fortunately, I am finding that teaching Ashtanga comes relatively easily. The rhythm of the practice is deeply etched into my brain, and the direct, minimalist method suits me better than the nearly constant verbal instruction of Vinyasa flow.

We spend a lot of time in the studio doing partner work, one person assumes the role of teacher and the other is the student, then we switch. It has been interesting to observe another closely in his or her practice, and not merely to observe but to be a participant, a facilitating force. The variety of adjustments we are learning, many of which I have never received, have done a great deal to demystify the Mysore teacher's role in my mind. As a bonus, I was able to use a few of the adjustments in class on Monday night with satisfying results for my students. I can feel the workman's belt of teaching tools growing weightier around my hips.

I am also learning lots of ways to tidy up my own practice (figured out the lotus jump back!) and, more importantly, to make it more sustainable. If there is one thing that David seems to emphasize again and again, it is the importance of the sustainability of one's personal practice over advancement through the series. So how does one make the practice more sustainable? By holding back. If you are able to haul your body through every jump back and jump through of Primary but it takes every last bit of energy you've got, then don't do it. One of my favorite teachers once said this to me about my practice and I try to think of it every day: "Don't give it all away. Keep a little something for yourself." Sounds like something my mother would say.

I sometimes wonder, when I wake to a sore and tired body or feel an aversion to my mat, "How long can I keep this up? Ashtanga is hard!" But the truth of it is that Ashtanga is not hard. My practice is hard. The way that I practice is hard. Ashtanga is merely a set series of postures, how one moves through the postures is entirely up to the practitioner. But holding back is not easy. It is much simpler for me to stay in the meditation if my thoughts are obliterated by sensation than if the sensation is mild and the body is soft. So, as I have grown stronger and more open, rather than enjoying the fruits of my labor in comfortable, sustainable postures, I have developed a habit of going further in search of that sensation until the softness of the posture is lost.

I say this with no sense of pride: I have never not once skipped a vinyasa in my personal practice with ONE exception. For a while there I omitted the one between Paschimottanasana and Purvottanasana to save time. But that's it... except, of course, for rare occasions when I don't have enough time for a full practice. In that case, I do a bare-bones Primary which involves a variety of creative shortcuts. And I've "forgotten" that last one before Savasana more times than I care to admit.

Okay... so maybe I have skipped a vinyasa or two in my time. The point is that I don't do it often. Yesterday, my training partner, a local Vinyasa instructor, remarked as he led me through a practice, "You're one of those Ashtangis I've heard about." I laughed and confirmed that, indeed, I am one of those Ashtangis. I always give the practice everything I've got, and even though I stay with the breath, I am overworking the body. It's time to scale back the effort and bring a little more ease to this balance.

Give me Mysore or Give me Death!

2011-10-10T19:06:00.002-05:00

We are now three days into the Swenson intensive and I am having a ball spending all day long with some of my favorite Ashtangis. David and Shelley are so great. Excellent teachers both -- patient and compassionate -- but beyond that, they are happy, lovely, inspiring people who seem to bring out the best in one another and, together, manage to make the possibility of finding love in this world look a little less dismal to the rest of us. I am grateful for their joy.

I am also incredibly grateful for their practical and grounded approach to the practice: minimalist instruction, assertive and direct adjustment, case-by-case assessment over strict rules and prohibitions. And best of all, no cheesy music or flowery yogaspeak.

Yesterday, after waking up embarrassingly late and dragging my frizzy, decaffeinated self to training for the day, I headed over to the local yoga festival to represent at the home studio booth for a couple of hours. As I sat there on the sagging seat of a plastic folding chair, smiling at passersby with mats in slings hung over toned shoulders, surrounded by retail booths offering everything from chakra crystals-on-a-string to physic readings for the auspicious price of $108, I listened to the mellow-toned cacophony of four different yoga classes occurring all at once, strung together with sitar and didgeridoo, and I wanted to kill myself.

Truly. It made me ill, such a stark and garish contrast to the quiet honesty I had been witness to for the better part of that day. As a volunteer at the festival, I received a goody bag full of wastefully printed paper advertisements (one of which actually thanked me for making a positive difference in people's lives as a teacher of yoga and then encouraged me to get on the mailing list so that I could "get the latest designs before anyone else does." Huh?), dietary supplements made with corn syrup and artificial ingredients, and a few Luna bars (You know -- it's like a Power Bar, but for a lady!) Gross.

THANK GOODNESS for people like Swenson who keep it real in a world of spectacle and facade. And thank goodness for Ashtanga keeping it simple and straightforward, staying true to the power of the practice by making space for the meditation.

It's Just a Ride.

2011-10-07T11:38:00.000-05:00

Strength and Love to the occupation.

occupytogether.org

Follow the Arrows

2011-10-05T15:45:00.000-05:00

Yogic philosophy in diagrammatic form.

Confessions of a Hungry Yogini

2011-10-04T16:19:00.001-05:00

There really aren't many pervasive rules when it comes to yoga, but if there is one we can all agree on, it must be this: yoga asana should be practiced on an empty stomach. Right? Surely, one shouldn't scarf a turkey sandy or slurp a bowl of soup before stepping on the mat, but some of us might want to think twice about doing any kind of intense practice (ahem hem... Ashtanga... ahem...) on nothing but coffee and prana.

For two weeks in June, I participated in a morning Mysore program with David Swenson. I rose painfully early each day to be on my mat by 6am. I practiced for 2-3 hours in hot, humid conditions on a completely empty stomach. In a way, it was a wonderful experience and I say this with a tone of sweet nostalgia: it was also total agony. The heat and humidity coupled with the tapas of Ashtanga had me sweating what seemed like gallons and quickly depleted all my reserves. I made it through practice every morning on the uplifting energy of the room and little else. Every day after practice, I would shovel some food into my face like a zombie and, shortly thereafter, pass out cold for 3 or 4 hours of heavy sleep, only to wake in an unshakeable haze. Those two weeks are still a blur in my mind.

I know some of you seasoned yogis rise before the sun every morning to do your practice and have done so without issue for years. You have my utmost respect and admiration, but I fear I will never be among you. At first, I thought my difficulty with morning practice was nothing more than an adjustment period, but eventually the signs of something more came to light.

I started to give the situation more consideration when I noticed that my incessant sweat during practice smelled strongly of ammonia. One day, midway through the second week of the Swenson program, I walked into my closet and was assaulted by the sour, acrid smell of cat pee coming from the hamper. As some of you know, I left the banes of my existence -- the couch and cat -- behind with my ex when I moved, so there was no mistaking the culprit: me.

And so, with my curiosity piqued, as anyone would, I googled: "sweat smells like ammonia." Thousands of results turned up, most of which were posts on body building forums. Upon further exploration, I learned that ammonia-scented sweat is a sign that the body is in ketosis, a state in which the body has used all available sugars and turns to fats and protein as the primary energy source. Ketosis may be caused by alcoholism, starvation, and diabetes... basically anything that interferes with the body's ability to regulate blood sugar levels. When no food is available in this state, the body burns its own fat and muscle. Hence, the reason body builders would be most wary of ketosis, and hence the reason for my depleted strength and insufferable exhaustion after practice every day.

Some medical and fitness experts seem to say that ketosis is nothing to worry about and even recommend inducing ketosis through a low-carb diet as a means of losing weight (Atkins, anyone?). But for someone with low blood sugar and low body fat, ketosis can be dangerous. Ammonia is produced as a byproduct of the breakdown of protein for energy. If the body cannot expel the accumulation of ammonia efficiently through urination, exhalation, and sweat, ammonia may build up in the blood, causing muscle fatigue and neurological impairment.

Since this discovery, I have changed my pre-practice eating habits. Rather than starve myself until after practice, I start my day with a nourishing, carb-heavy breakfast, wait a few hours, and then roll out the mat. This way, I'm not embarking on a 2-3 hour practice journey with nothing for fuel but my own muscle. And my sweat, while it may not smell like roses, doesn't wreak of cat pee. So while you morning yogis are sweating your hungry little asanas off, I'll be sitting down to a big ol' bowl of oatmeal or spreading peanut butter on a slice or two of toast.

Asana of the Week: Parsva Dhanurasana

2011-10-03T00:04:00.000-05:00

Since I've recently proclaimed this as my nemesis pose, I think it's only fair to explore Parsva Dhanurasana (Side Bow Pose) a little more deeply in the spirit of equal regard.

Parsva Dhanurasana is a strong asymmetrical backbend that strengthens the spinal extensors and quadriceps as it stretches the psoas and pectoralis. Even though it appears that both sides of the body are aligned alike, the muscular actions required to create this shape while lying on one's side are not symmetrical. The top leg must be used more strongly to pull the body open, toning the quadriceps. The more the body opens with this action, the more the psoas of the bottom leg is stretched.

Dhanurasana

Enter this posture from Dhanurasana (pictured right). Inhale to lift to the center and with the exhale, roll onto your right side. Rather than "kicking" over by swinging your knees, try to initiate the roll by the pressing the right ankle more strongly into the right hand, using the quadriceps as if to straighten the leg. Maintain the shape of Dhanurasana as you transition, including the position of the head which is tipped back down the centerline of the body. Gaze past the tip of the nose to soften your facial muscles and prevent compression at the back of the neck.

Other side

After five breaths on the right side, inhale back to the state of Dhanurasana and exhale onto your left side using the quadriceps to initiate the roll. Stay for five breaths. If your neck becomes tired or strained, rest your head on the floor. If you feel discomfort in the knees, try dorsiflexion rather than a pointed foot. There is a tendency for the top knee to splay open, but do your best to keep the knees close together, if not touching. To release, first inhale back to Dhanurasana. For a challenge, stay in Dhanurasana for five more breaths. When you're done, with an exhalation, release your grasp on the ankles and lower slowly to the mat.

Primary Friday: Rich Little Warriors

2011-09-30T10:46:00.000-05:00

This is more like it. I made it through the full practice week with all my Intermediate postures and without a chorus of reluctance assailing me every time I thought of stepping on the mat. It didn't hurt that Tuesday was a moon day. I hope this means I'm over the hump. In any case, I better get over it soon because the 3-week Swenson intensive is naught but a week away.

Yesterday's practice was really good. I worked hard. And not because of an obligation to achieve, but because it gave me joy. At the onset, I knew it would be a good practice. Every little joint in my body, from knuckles to spine, cracked so loudly and freely through the Surya Namaskara that I might as well have done the salutations on bubble wrap.

Standing was solid. As I came to Parivrtta Parsvakonasana, it occurred to me that I used to regard that posture as some kind of a sick joke, awkward and demeaning. But now, I look forward to it and wind myself up with gleeful abandon. After the second side, I step to the top of my mat dressed in a whole new body. Utthita Hasta was shaky. There was some dancing and hopping about, rare but comical. Ardha Baddha was a lovely stretch. And the Warriors...

Oh, the Warriors! If there's one clear and obvious way that Ashtanga Vinyasa has changed my relationship to the asanas, it's in the evolution of my relationship to Virabhadrasana I and II. They are the chocolate on my Primary pillow. What once were confrontational are now comfortable, soft and even sweet. Warrior II is my new favorite hip opener. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I'll stay for 6 or 8 breaths instead of five, just because it feels so damn good on my chronically short adductors. The very same adductors which, by the way, seem to be opening up since I left the couch behind for a floor pillow situation in my living room. My back and hips have thanked me.

All the elusive binds were back in business yesterday, with Marichyasana D, Suptka Kurmasana, and Pasasana accounted for. In fact, not only were the binds accounted for, but they were as deep as they've ever been. Strange. Very strange.

Intermediate was interesting. Like I said, Pasasana was bound with a full four-finger clasp on both sides. I managed to swing into Krounchasana in a single breath. Shalabasana felt strong and Bhekasana was deep. Dhanurasana is feeling quite deep as well, but Parsva Dhanurasana has announced itself as my new nemesis pose. I'm trying hard not to hate it, but I am no longer amused by the antics of the posture and grudgingly bide my time through the infinity that is 15 breaths. Of course, it's never quite as bad as I remember and, eventually, this aversion will pass.

Ustrasana was heavenly. I had a strong impulse to close my eyes and go to sleep in the posture -- that's how comfortable I was. I don't think I've ever before had the urge to nap in a backbend. Laghu was the usual thigh-burning grind. Kapotasana, though not yet to the heels, has proven to be surprisingly untouched by lack of practice. I might even venture to say that I have more mobility in my thoracic spine now than I did before I took a break from the backbends. It's clear in the drop backs, as well.

And since this is a Primary Friday post, I suppose I should remark on my Primary: I haven't done it yet. My practice has settled into a nice midday groove. I step on the mat around 12:30 or 1pm, and it's working for me. There's actually a good, diet-related reason for this timeslot, which is fodder for another post in itself. Stay tuned for a post on why some of us shouldn't practice on an empty stomach. (Cue suspenseful music.)

The Scenic Route

2011-09-26T10:49:00.000-05:00

Sunday has emerged as the clear winner in the race for my favorite day of the week. I don't teach any classes, have the whole day to myself, and, since Saturday is rest and oil bath day, Sunday practice is always a treat. The rest gives me an energy boost such that, at times, I feel almost weightless, and the oil bath rubs out any war wounds from the previous week. To take full advantage of this freshness, I make a point of doing my full practice on Sundays, meaning full Primary plus my Intermediate postures. It's often the only day of the week that I have that kind of time.

And since I do have all that time, I'm free to really dig into the details and set the tone for clean, productive week. Yesterday's practice was especially lengthy. Primary alone, pre-finishing, took 90 minutes. Then with Intermediate tacked on plus finishing and a good, long Savasana, I was on my mat for two and a half hours. But what I've come to realize is this: full Primary plus Intermediate is a lot easier than half Primary plus Intermediate. Sure, it's longer, but the second half of Primary is just the afterparty to the first half of the practice. All the Konasanas lounge around in the late hours, smoking exotic cigarettes, sipping cocktails and laughing at the antics of the Marichy gang, tisking and shaking their heads with sweet fatigue at the memory of Bhujapidasana and Supta Kurmasana... those postures like to party hard.

But when you cut out the cocktail hour of Primary and head straight into 2nd from Navasana (or Supta Kurmasana, which I tend to do), you eliminate a good, long little break spent mostly on the back. The core and thighs don't get that recovery period, so the heat just keeps building and by the time you get to Laghu Vajrasana, you're dripping and using every ounce of strength just to hold on to your breath... Or maybe you aren't, but I am. So I love that long, luxurious practice with all it's hills and valleys.

Binding is a new problem. Marichyasana D has been difficult since I took those two weeks off, but now Supta Kurmasana and Pasasana have followed suit. I'm not sure if I've gained weight, lost flexibility, or some combination of the two. I suspect the recent addition of a more regular practice of pull-ups might have something to do with it. I stopped doing so many around the time I started Ashtanga, and that was a large part of the reason for cutting back: they make binding difficult and sometimes painful. Marichy D and Pasasana don't worry me too much. It's understandable that the bind might disappear from time to time because it's only ever been just within reach, but the trouble with Supta Kurmasana caught me off guard. I don't know why I can't seem to bind the pose anymore, but I'd venture to guess that my festive lifestyle as of late is catching up with me. It's the sign. Time to scale back on the snacks and booze. Hehe. All good things... yadda yadda yadda...

Another sneaky little issue I've been having is what I like to call the Curse of Bhujapidasana. Occasionally, I go through a phase where I have trouble with the exit from this pose. I don't know what the problem is. It's not a regular issue, usually I just push and it happens, but sometimes I get completely stuck with no way to bail out. There really is no alternative exit from Bhuja. Once you're down there with your chin on the floor, the options are limited to up-and-out or tuck-and-roll, the latter of which involves some body sacrifice. I used to think I had it figured out, that the trick was to keep the weight back as the sternum reaches forward, but now I'm not so sure. It seems now that if I keep the weight too far back, I have to slide my face in toward my hands and give myself an awkward push. I really don't like struggling with this maneuver because there is a very high "face plant" risk involved and, quite frankly, I just don't want to bust my shnoz. I hope to troubleshoot the exit once and for all this week.

I'm looking forward to a shorter practice today (though, as we discussed, not necessarily an easier one). And tomorrow's a moon day! So... hip hip hooray! Happy moon day, everyone!

Asana of the Week: Nirlamba Parsvakonasana

2011-09-25T11:16:00.005-05:00

I love the standing balance postures. I love to teach them and I love to practice them. Not only do they develop total-body strength and train our use of the three primary tools of asana: breath, bandhas (energetic/muscular locks), and drishti (gaze). More importantly, they help us build confidence and focus to carry with us through the rest of our practice and, indeed, far beyond.

Truthfully, the Sanskrit name I've given for this pose -- Nirlamba Parsvakonasana -- more accurately refers to a sequence of postures otherwise known as the Side Angle Pose sequence. The sequence begins with Parsvakonasana (Side Angle Pose), then the arms bind around the thigh in Baddha Parsvakonasana (Bound Side Angle Pose), then the front leg straightens in Baddha Trikonasana (Bound Triangle Pose), and finally the back leg lifts and the body folds into this balance, the peak posture of this little flow, for which I have not uncovered a proper Sanksrit title.

This is a challenging posture for a number of reasons. Most obviously, it is a precarious balance with the arms bound behind the back. Binding not only makes the balance more difficult, but with the hands not quite available to offer fast protection from a fall, the practitioner is called upon to summon up a sense of boldness.

Physically, this pose lengthens and strengthens the hamstrings and inner thighs. It tones the feet and ankles, opens the groins, strengthens the glutes, and trains the core to work in detailed coordination. And, like any posture in which the arms are bound behind the back, this posture opens the chest by working the upper back to pull the shoulders down. This opening of the chest calls for active extension of the spine which, in this forward bend, presents a challenge to both flexibility and strength of the spinal extensors.

While nothing but practice and patience will give way to the necessary strength and flexibility this posture demands, the real trick to standing balancing postures is drishti (gaze). Fix your eyes on a single point before you come into the posture and keep the gaze there as you make the transition so that your attention, rather than darting around the room, is directed inward to watch and control all the little tweaks and adjustments that need to take place in order to remain in the posture. And don't forget to breathe. Steady breath and steady gaze make for steady balance.

Primary Friday: Bait and Switch

2011-09-23T08:48:00.002-05:00

So far, so good this week with the practice plan. Not that I've stuck to the original plan, exactly, but rather have simply allowed the plan to evolve into something that looks more like this:

Sunday: Practice
Monday: Practice
Tuesday: Practice
Wednesday: Practice
Thursday: Practice
Friday: Practice
Saturday: Rest

I like this plan much better.

Yesterday, I had to coax myself to the mat with promises of a Vinyasa practice full of open twists and juicy hip openers, but once I found myself standing there at the top of my Manduka, all I knew to do was Ashtanga. That damned Ashtanga cult! My mind has officially been hijacked.

It was a nice practice, though. Primary to Supta Kurmasana and 2nd to Kapotasana. Yes, you read that right, my friends: Kapotasana is back! And my oh my, does it turn me on! I am beginning to realize the profound effects that these mega-heart openers have upon my world view. During the no-backbending period, I really and truly felt squelched and a little bit hopeless. Uncomfortably restless and trapped. Now, this week as I've reintroduced the bigger backbends into my practice, I leave the mat feeling downright giddy. There is a deep, sweet soreness that lingers in the space between the ribs where a certain re-opening is taking place. Every single breath exploits this sensation to make the arc of it's microcosmic life clearly known.

There is something so freeing in that expansion of the chest, the rib cage unfurls like a flower and there is warmth and breath and space where, previously, there was none. The heart is presented like a jewel, the silks removed for a special viewing, an offering of our most precious, fleshy gem. And it's not just the big backbends. With all the pike pull-ups I've been doing, every single Up Dog feels like pure heaven as my tight low abs are given a subtle stretch, a sensory reminder to uplift the heart and pause in that space at the top of the inhale for just long enough to smile at the sky. Such simple bliss.

As for today, while the plan is Primary, I am admitting right now that it may or may not happen. I'm teaching five classes all day, and while, technically, there will be time to squeeze in a quick Primary between my mid-day teaching stretch and the evening capper, I am more likely to wrap myself in a blanket and huddle in a corner, snacking on fruit and nuts like the shy little primate I am, than to unroll my mat and do my practice. We'll see what happens. If Primary doesn't happen today, I'll just do it tomorrow and call today my rest day. Deal? Deal.

Best Laid Plans...

2011-09-20T11:02:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading the blog lately, then you know that I've been having some trouble getting back into the rhythm of a 6-day per week practice. I have many excuses: my work schedule has beefed up, I had minor surgery, I went on vacation, etc... But most of all, I just can't get out of "celebration mode." First, there were the results of the biopsy (negative in the most positive way), then my birthday, then a much-needed visit home to my family and best friend in the world, and the list goes on... Every day, in every way, I feel like a medieval queen, shaking my skirts about and shouting, "More food! More wine!" As I hoist a bronze goblet above my head.

To combat this ongoing revelry, I've been thinking about trying to design some sort of a weekly practice plan for myself to keep things manageable and straightforward, with a couple of shorter practices built in so I don't have to feel guilty when I don't have the time or energy for a marathon practice. But then again, I have to ask: why create even more expectations? Why try to reshape the box when I can just eliminate the box entirely?

Allow me to field my own question: Because it's easier than being honest with myself and assessing my own unique needs and energy level on any given day. So, while I am wary of imposing further boundaries on something as ideally free and unfettered as the practice, I think perhaps that these simple reinforcements will help me stay productive as I transition from this EPIC introspective summer to the social, structured nature of the fall.

The first draft of my practice plan goes something like this:

Sunday: Full Primary + Intermediate (whatever my current Intermediate chunk may be)
Monday: 1/2 Primary + Intermediate
Tuesday: Primary to Supta Kurmasana + Intermediate
Wednesday: Full Primary + Intermediate
Thursday: 1/2 Primary + Intermediate
Friday: Full Primary
Saturday: Rest

Now, at this point it's only Tuesday and already I've flown off course. Yesterday was an incredibly busy day from morning to night. I was barely able to squeeze in 1/2 Primary alone, much less add the Intermediate on top. Nonetheless, it was a pleasant practice. And (good news!) I got my backbends back!! Friday I played with a bent-arm expression of Urdhva Dhanurasana. Sunday, I did 6 rounds of Urdhva Dhanurasana with straight arms, but no drop backs. Then, yesterday, I managed 3 straight-arm backbends PLUS 3 surprisingly smooth drop backs, all without any pain. Huzzah! So glad to be dropping back again. It just feels soooo good.

Should be able to get back on track with the practice plan today. I've got nothing but time this afternoon and the weather has been just perfect for turning off the A/C, opening all the windows, and sweating myself clean on the mat.

Asana of the Week: Kurmasana

2011-09-17T20:34:00.009-05:00

"This asana is dedicated to Kurma the Tortoise Incarnation of Vishnu, the maintainer of the universe. Many divine treasures had been lost in a universal flood including amrta (nectar) with which the gods preserved their youth. To retrieve the lost treasures the gods entered into an alliance with the demons and jointly undertook to churn the cosmic ocean. Vishnu became a great tortoise and dived to the bottom of the ocean. On his back was mount Mandara for the churning stick and round the mountain was twined the divine serpent Vasuki for the rope. The ocean was churned by the joint efforts of the gods and demons in pulling the snake and twirling the mountain. From the churned ocean emerged amrta and various other treasures including Lakshmi, consort of Vishnu and the goddess of wealth and beauty." -- BKS Iyengar, Light on Yoga

Kurmasana (Turtle Pose) is one of the more memorable floor postures of the Ashtanga Primary series with it's distinctive shape and sneaky strength. Kurmasana tones the abs, spinal extensors, and quadriceps as it stretches the hamstrings and opens the hips in preparation for Supta Kurmasana, one of the prerequisite postures for moving on to the Intermediate series.

To enter Kurmasana from Adho Muka Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog), step or jump the legs around the upper arms and lower to the floor. Take a moment to work the knees even further up the triceps, then walk the hands back at an angle equal to that of the legs. Straighten both the arms and the legs as you take the chest and chin to the floor. If the chest comes down without any discomfort felt in the back, flex the feet and press the legs straight until the heels lift from the floor.

Lifting the heels requires a surprising amount of strength from the quadriceps and hip flexors. This flexion may put stress on the low back if there is not sufficient abdominal strength to maintain extension of the spine. Be sure to lead with the heart and turn the gaze forward to encourage this extension. Actively press the palms into the floor, engaging both the triceps and the biceps to prevent hyperextension of the elbows. If pressure is felt at the joint even with the arms engaged, bring the hands forward to the level of the shoulders and slide the thighs a little further up the arms. Those with any history of hamstring injuries might consider pointing rather than flexing the feet here to avoid pulling too hard on those tight hammies.

Primary Friday: Flying Solo

2011-09-17T10:33:00.002-05:00

Yesterday's practice was reluctant. Very nearly didn't practice at all, but made the final push at last and got my Ashtangi buns on the mat for Friday Primary. As always, once I settled into the meditation, all was right with the world.

It was an especially focused and fluid practice compared to much of what I've done lately. These past few weeks, I have been uncharacteristically distracted on my mat. Not turning off my phone, letting emails distract me, walking off the mat for a drink of water, taking bathroom breaks... all those little things that steal the momentum of the flow. I am trying to be more available, more in this world and less in my own head, but the demands of this seem to deplete everything I love about the practice and, indeed, everything I love about my life.

I have taken to this lone wolf lifestyle like a salamander to a stream. I've been living alone since June and I love it. I love the quiet. I love staying in all day, practicing for three hours in the afternoon with no one to scoff and wonder. And I love going out at night. Alone. It is both illuminating and emboldening to simply drop myself into the mix and see what happens... sometimes it's not much, sometimes a whole hell of a lot. This town is full of fascinating characters and will always be dear to me for that reason.

But all of this is neither here nor there. It's about the practice. And the practice was good. I've been good and sore from the Intermediate work this week. My calves, thighs, and abs especially, so Primary yesterday was perfect for stretching out the calves and hammies, but the abs just keep getting tighter and tighter without the bigger backbends to open them up. Although, yesterday I carefully reintroduced a bent-arm expression of Urdhva Dhanurasana, just testing the waters. It feels a little better, but there's still some strangeness at the left hip crease and underarm which I can feel pulling across my pelvis and chest. Not only can I feel it but, at it's worst, I can see some sort of fascial pattern under the skin across my front ribs where the pulling is strongest. It's strange and a little bit scary, but I'm confident that patient attention will take care of it eventually.

A wave of humidity has taken over the air after a long spell of arid heat, so practice yesterday was the sweatiest in a while. It felt just like old times, sweating from the forehead by the Prasaritas, swollen beads of moisture dripping down my shins in all the forward bends. I hadn't realized how much I've missed this part of the practice. I was also reminded that there are a few months of dry and drafty practice not far ahead of me when the Texas winter weather kicks in, so I'd better enjoy this while I can.

Today is a rest day. I'm teaching a class at noon, then heading home for an oil bath, followed by a date with my dog for a nice, long, leisurely walk. Blessed is life.

YMX Giveaway: And the winner is...

2011-09-16T13:24:00.002-05:00

Lil Ndn Priya!

She (or he? We don't discriminate here at Damn Good Yoga) hit the nail on the head with number 37! That's right, folks. 37.

Lil Ndn Priya, stand up and take a bow for displaying a clarity of perception far beyond the average yogi! Then send me an email at megan (at) damngoodyoga (dot) com by next Friday (9/23) and I'll hook you up with the details of receiving your swag.

Thanks to all for playing! If I don't hear from the winner in a timely manner, I'll move on down the list. So stay tuned!

YMX Apparel: It's a Giveaway!

2011-09-14T12:45:00.005-05:00

Yoga thuggin' in my Koi print apparel by YMX

A few weeks ago, I received a nice email from a representative of YMX by Yellowman asking if I'd like to review an outfit from their collection of athletic apparel. While I've never published a product review here before, I have been sent many offers, mostly for products I don't use. So when YMX offered to send me the Koi Hoodie and Koi Performance Leggings, CLOTHING that I can USE, in exchange for a review, I said, "of course!" Followed immediately by: "I'm a size small!"

Rocking the EPB in the Koi Performance Leggings

The first thing that struck me about the items when they arrived, aside from the beautiful, brightly colored Koi design, was the fabric itself. YMX performance apparel is made from a material exclusively designed for YMX by the name of MadKool. And they are not kidding: MadKool is cool. It's paper thin but super strong with a satiny tactile feel. Moreover, it seems to be the perfect texture for Ashtanga yoga. The material is somehow both rubbery in its grip and smooth in its slide. Arm balancing and binding were a breeze in the Koi Performance Leggings. Even the sweaty jumps into Bhujapidasana and Kurmasana were landed effortlessly because of MadKool's unique feel. Not only that, but throughout my practice in these pants, I noticed that my legs were consistently the coolest part of my body. Every little breeze washed a wave of soothing cool over my lower half. I'm not sure how it works, but these leggings are cooler than shorts without the struggle of binding or gripping with sweaty, slippery limbs.

The only drawback of MadKool is also one of its strengths: the material is very thin. To clarify for you just how thin, let me say that I could see the texture of my two-day stubble through the fabric. I am aware that the question on the mind of every inquiring yogini in the market for a pair of leggings is this: "Will they obscure my lady bits?" The answer is no. They are sheer. Down Dog is a peep show. And with the white spandex woven into the fabric for stretch, they appear to be even more see-through than they actually are. So... will I wear these for home practice? YES! Will I wear them at the shala or in the studio? Sadly, no. Though it's tempting because the fit is so nice and the design is really striking. Maybe for a candlelit class? With one of those trendy little athletic miniskirts over top? Or teaching, with a tunic? Maybe.

The Koi Hoodie, on the other hand, is very nice and I expect to wear it often. The large print on the back is beautiful. The material is still lightweight, but more substantial than the leggings and it provides more warmth than you might expect based on its thickness. It is also worth noting that the Koi Hoodie provides UPF 50+ against harmful UV rays, so I look forward to donning this zip-front hoodie for brisk bike rides to and from the studio without having to worry about slopping on the oily SPF.

In the interest of total honesty, I'll remark on the price of these items. The Koi Performance Leggings are currently listed at $89 per pair and the Koi Hoodie sells for a whopping $119. As my long-time readers will know, I don't spend a lot on yoga apparel, as much out of principle as for necessity. I don't believe that yoga should cost a lot, and these items are well beyond what I consider to be reasonably priced. That being said, these are really lovely and functional pieces of clothing. If money were no object, I would purchase more of their beautifully printed tops. But fortunately for you, dear readers, YMX has generously offered to give away a pair of the Koi Performance Leggings with matching Koi Hoodie to one of you.

So here's the deal: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. Use your yogi mind-skills to intuit that number, then leave it in the comments. One chance per person. If no one has guessed the exact number by noon on Friday, I'll select the closest guess and announce the winner in a post. Good luck!

Jumping the Hump

2011-09-13T19:32:00.007-05:00

Even though it's been over a month since my relatively minor surgery and, indeed, all the turbulence that came with that experience, I am still dealing with the repercussions. It has been a struggle to find my groove again, both on the mat and off; always watching and waiting for the slightest sign of discomfort at the sites of the incisions and taking extra rest days to attend to some long-neglected areas of my life. I have enjoyed the change of pace, but I try to maintain an ever-present memory of the 6-day practice week, keeping that feeling fresh in my mind so it's not such a shock to the system when I manage to get over this hump and hit my stride again.

Yesterday, I practiced Primary in spite of the moon day because I couldn't bear to miss another practice. Today, I took it up a notch and did full Primary plus Intermediate to Laghu Vajrasana. Primary was lovely, but the lack of Intermediate practice is starting to show. My thighs quivered by the seventh breath into Shalabasana, and Laghu Vajrasana was noticeably more difficult than I remember. I'm still omitting the finishing backbends, but rather than skip them altogether I've been substituting 3 rounds of Setu Bandhasana (the variation commonly known as "Bridge Pose," not the Ashtanga variation) in order to keep the thighs and glutes strong for my eventual return to the bigger backbends. All in due time...

And yet, the Swenson Adventure 2011: Part Deux is right around the corner (Yes, I like to give tedious, official-sounding names to events in my day to day life. What of it?), and I'd like to be in top form to take the most from that experience. I had hoped to have at least the LBH and Tittibhasana sequences under my belt by the time this training rolls around, but the biopsy certainly put a damper on that. As it stands now, I'll be lucky to get Kapotasana back in time for teacher training. Not that it really matters, especially since this is Swenson we're talking about: that guy is so sweet and laid back about the practice that he makes Ashtanga seem like a day at the playground.

In the meantime, I'll be working on my core and quad strength. And doing pull-ups, lots of pull-ups.

Asana of the Week: Eka Hasta Bhujasana

2011-09-10T17:40:00.009-05:00

This fun little posture is a great introduction to the world of arm balances. It strengthens the abs, arms, and adductors, all of which are essential to the concept of "internal lift" that makes hand balancing possible.

To prepare for this posture, spend a little time warming the shoulders with a few Surya Namaskara (Sun Salutations) and then hit the floor for some light hip opening such as Utthan Pristhasana (Lizard Pose) or Akarna Dhanurasana (Archer Pose). When you're all warmed up, come to seated and begin to work your right knee as high up onto your shoulder as you can. Squeeze your upper arm between the calf and thigh and hug your knee against your shoulder. Then plant your hands beside your hips and press down through the palms as you lift up from the belly to hover your hips above the mat. Push into the hands and present the heart forward to avoid sinking into the shoulders. Point the toes of both feet as you float your left leg above the floor. Stay for 5-10 breaths and repeat the posture on the other side.

As with all arm-supported postures, be sure to distribute the weight evenly across the entire surface of both palms and grip with the fingertips to strengthen the hands and support your wrists. If it is too much to float the extended leg, you may practice the posture with the heel resting on the floor, but try to keep the foot active to ensure that the leg is engaged. Advanced practitioners may like to transition from this posture to Eka Pada Koundinyasana II by tucking the extended leg under the body and swinging it back while the front leg stretches forward as shown below: (try to ignore the noise rock in the background. Hehe...)

Primary Friday: The Forbidden Arc

2011-09-09T23:38:00.004-05:00

(Photo credit: Rebecca Gallagher)

Had a nice mid-afternoon Primary today to wrap up a packed little week. I flew home on Tuesday and hit the ground running. Feels like I've been out and about non-stop since the landing, trying to gather up the slack from my week away. Fortunately, tomorrow is a rest day and I'm all caught up with the daily grind, so next week should be of a more mellow flavor.

As you may recall from my last post, I waded back into the Intermediate pool for the first time since my surgery while visiting family in the Midwest. The practice felt good at the time, but there have been some worrisome delayed repercussions. Though the incisions have healed well enough, there is a distinctive sensation of tissues tearing if I try to bend back too far, followed later by swelling and the sensation of bruising but without the color. Clearly, more recovery time is needed. I wonder why this hasn't kicked in until now...

Backbends, especially those involving shoulder extension (a la Urdhva Dhanurasana and Kapotasana) are completely out. So I've been sticking with Primary minus the finishing backbends and supplementing that with the occasional Vinyasa practice to give me a little more freedom in the front-body opening options. I'm also taking this opportunity to work on strengthening the core a little more in the interest of finally getting those handstands and pretty floaty things under my belt. As many of you know, I do pull-ups and chin-ups from time to time to keep my shoulders safe from all the Chaturangas. Well, a couple of weeks ago I started doing pike pull-ups, with the legs lifted parallel to the floor for the duration of the set. The first time I tried it, I could feel my body grabbing in all the right places, all the spots I try to access when practicing handstands and pikes and the like. Today's Primary revealed that they are indeed making a difference, and I'm excited to see how much this supplemental practice can help.

It's hard not doing the backbends. Everything about Primary makes my body simply beg for it, not to mention the fact that backbends, especially the drop backs, have been instrumental in managing the two bulging discs in my low back. In this past week alone, I have noticed an increase in the compression I feel around the spine and that old familiar "crunchy" feeling in the early forward folds. Not good. Must bend back. A compromise is needed. For now, Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) and Ustrasana (Camel Pose) will have to suffice.

Return of the Intermediate Monster

2011-09-01T11:21:00.001-05:00

Eek! 2nd series is scary...

Practice has been irregular lately as I've worked around my wounds and tried to get back into the swing of things after a two-week intermission. Last week, my first week back to both teaching and practice, I started slow with a slightly modified Primary and watched as my strength and mobility returned little by little each day. Friday, I packed up the Manduka and dragged myself to a Mysore room for the first time since the Swenson adventure in June. Saturday, I took rest, and Sunday, opted for a nice long Vinyasa flow that turned out to be one of the best practices I've had in a long while. There was no time for practice on Monday as I taught three classes and buzzed around all day making final arrangements for my absence this week. Tuesday, I arrived in Wisconsin after a suspiciously seamless air travel experience and here I sit in my parents' lake house enjoying the clean, green, mellow scene of late summer in the Midwest.

Practice yesterday was lovely, alone in a big house with everyone away at work, the sun flickering off the water producing otherworldly patterns of light and shadow on the walls, the breath and breeze the only sound. I approached the mat with no plan, not even sure if I would go the Ashtanga route or indulge in something freer. As usual, I started with the Suryas and simply listened, let my body speak for itself. It asked for Ashtanga. I practiced Primary. It was light and strong, warm but not overworked. I reclaimed the wrist bind in Marichyasana C and bound Marichy D for the first time since my return to Ashtanga. When I arrived at Setu Bandhasana, I felt neither hurried nor fatigued, so I continued on to Pasasana.

I had wondered how my reintroduction to Intermediate might go and, quite honestly, feared the intensity of the practice, so I'm delighted to say that it was absolutely wonderful. Pasasana was bound on both sides, Krounchasana was not as acutely vivid (read: painful) as it can be, and the backbends -- to my astonishment and with the exception of Kapotasana -- seemed no less deep than before the biopsy and subsequent break. Rather than overwhelm my body with the monstrous practice that is full Primary plus half of Intermediate, I stopped myself after Kapo and carried on to finishing.

As surprisingly untouched as the Intermediate backbends seemed to be, I really felt the work in Urdhva Dhanurasana. Drop backs were creaky and cautious, and I forwent the half-backs and final backbend altogether because I had begun to feel some unfamiliar sharpness in the left pectoral that I suspect may be a result of scar tissue from the incision in my underarm. There's a similar sensation of bruising that stretches up from the site of the incision at my groin and over the left hip bone, likely also a result of the backbending practice pulling at the scar. I'll have to be watchful of these areas so as not to aggravate anything too soon, but better to keep up the practice, I think, and prevent any further stiffening than allow them to harden up and have to do the work later.

I'm about to step on the mat again but will probably opt for a shorter practice today, maybe half Primary with a bit of flourish for the fun of it. I am on vacation, after all. And if you, my darling readers, do not hear from me until next week, I wish you all a happy holiday weekend and an easy transition into autumn.

(image provided by Brad Fitzpatrick at http://www.bradfitzpatrick.com)

A Teacher's Practice

2011-08-29T07:13:00.020-05:00

This is what happens when you leave me alone with my mat for a couple of hours...

Surya Namaskara A 5x
Surya Namaskara B 5x

Utkatasana (Chair Pose)
Bakasana (Crane Pose)
Vinyasa

Virabhadrasana I (Warrior 1)
Virabhadrasana II (Warrior 2)
Utthita Parsvakonasana (Extended Side Angle)
Trikonasana (Triangle Pose)
Ardha Chandrasana (Half Moon Pose)
Urdhva Prasarita Ekapadasana (Standing Splits)
Vasisthasana (Side Plank, full expression with the toe grab)
Vinyasa

Anjaneyasana (High Lunge) -- After 5 breaths, moved to a variation with the hands clasped behind the back to open the chest
Virabhadrasana III ( Warrior 3 variation) -- hands still behind the back...
Ardha Chandrasana (Half Moon Pose variation) -- still behind the back...
Virabhadrasana II (Warrior 2) -- ... and release.
Viparita Virabhadrasana (Reverse Warrior) -- I've always been suspicious of this posture. Seems like a Western invention, a pretty pose, but it has taught me a few good lessons.
Baddha Parsvakonasana (Bound Side Angle)
Baddha Trikonasana (Bound Triangle)
Svarga Dvidasana (Bird of Paradise Pose)
Visvamitrasana (Flying Warrior)
Eka Pada Koundinyasana II (Sage Balance 2, "Albatross")
Vinyasa

Anjaneyasana (Crescent Lunge)
Ardha Hanumanasana (Half Splits)
Hanumanasana (Yoga Splits)
Vinyasa

Dandasana (Staff Pose)
Paschimottanasana (West Stretch)
Purvottanasana (East Stretch)
Navasana 5x (Boat Pose)
Vinyasa

Bakasana B 2x (jump into Crane Pose)
Upavishta Konasana (Seated Wide-angle Forward Bend)
Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle Pose)

Janu Sirsasana (Head-to-Knee)
Marichyasana A (Sage Twist A)
Marichyasana (Open Sage Twist)
Marichyasana C (Sage Twist C)
Eka Pada Bakasana (One-legged Crane Pose)
Vinyasa

Urdhva Dhanurasana 6x (Upward Facing Bow Pose)
Drop-back 8x
Half-back 3x
Chakra Bandhasana (Full Wheel?) - Not grabbing the ankles yet, but fingertips are coming within a couple inches of the heels.

Paschimottanasana (West Stretch)
Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand)
Eka Pada Sarvangasana (One-legged Shoulderstand)
Sarvangasana Baddha Konasana (Shoulderstand Bound Angle)
Halasana (Plow Pose)
Matsyasana (Fish Pose)
Sirsasana (Headstand)
Urdhva Dandasana (Upward Facing Staff Pose)
Balasana (Child's Pose)
Sukhasana (Easy Seated Posture)
Savasana (Corpse Pose)

(Images courtesy of beginning-yoga.info)

Primary Friday: The Rebuilding Process

2011-08-26T12:28:00.000-05:00

(image source)

This has been my first full week of practice since the surgery and subsequent two-week sabbatical. It's been an interesting process rebuilding the practice, full of surprises and deep-set soreness. While my flexibility has, for the most part, remained intact, my upper body strength faded out much faster than I had hoped. I also managed to lose the bind in Marichyasana D, so until I get that bind back, I'm parking myself in Primary.

It's been fun playing with Primary all week. I've enjoyed cleaning up the vinyasas, polishing the jumps, and exaggerating the bandhas in all the forward bends. I do miss the backbends of Intermediate but, frankly, I'm dreading what they might feel like when I do take up the Intermediate postures again. The incision scars from the biopsy are in my armpit and at the hip crease, two major players in the process of opening up for the backbends, so I think it's safe to say that much rebuilding will need to take place to unlock those areas again. As preparation, I've been doing an extra set of Urdhva Dhanurasana -- 6 repetitions in total -- before moving on to the finishing drop backs.

In addition to the daily Primary, I've attended several yoga classes this week, partly because I think the extra work will help me rebound more quickly, and partly because I've been craving that sense of community since the cancer scare. It's been very healing to take classes from my teacher friends and to practice alongside my students in our shared sacred space. I'd like to make a point of attending classes more regularly, to offer of myself at the studio in a different way.

Next week, I'll be flying home to visit with the family over labor day weekend. It's hard to believe September is just around the corner. This year has been such a wonderful, terrible blur -- one of the most transformative of my life. I left an unfulfilling job with no savings to fall back on in order to follow my dreams, moved on from a long-term but long-dead relationship, moved into an apartment I love, took ownership of my health, let go of some bad habits, studied with two amazing teachers, completed my Associate's degree, and was forced to really and truly examine my life. And just before the downpour, there was Ashtanga yoga. I first took up Ashtanga Vinyasa in January of this year and it caused an enormous shift in my perspective. I wonder now how I would have handled all this turbulence without this practice, without the refuge of its repetition and the honesty of its reflection... not so well, I think.

And the year's not over! Before I know it, October will be dawning which, for me, means 3 STRAIGHT WEEKS of "teacher training" (yes, I know... let's not have a war about this, shall we?) with David Swenson. I'm excited to get back into an intensive program and really immerse myself in the practice.

Asana of the Week: Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana

2011-08-26T00:09:00.005-05:00

This week's pose is Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Half Bound Lotus Standing Forward Bend), otherwise known as "the knee slayer." (Okay... maybe I'm the only one who calls it that, but I have my reasons.)

This surprisingly complicated posture, when practiced with precision and great care, opens the hips, hamstrings, quadriceps, and shoulders while strengthening the stabilizers of the standing leg. However, because of the standing half-lotus position, both knees are subject to strain if the hips are not sufficiently open. The bent knee must be watched carefully for sensation as the leg is placed in half-lotus. The standing knee is at risk of hyper-extension not just because of the forward bend but because the lotus leg may press against the thigh and place even more pressure on the extended knee. This is not a posture to be attempted without ample warm-up or confidence in one's ability to proceed with compassion toward oneself.

To enter the pose, begin standing and lift the right knee toward your chest. Completely close the knee joint by rolling the flesh of the calf muscle out to the side and squeeze the shin to the thigh until your heel touches your buttocks. DO NOT PROCEED if you cannot fully flex the knee. Instead, move on to the modification described at the bottom of the post.

Once the knee is completely closed, keep the knee sealed and bring the sole of the right foot against the inner thigh of the standing leg with your heel against the perineum in Vrksasana (Tree Pose). From here, take hold of your knee with one hand and your foot with the other and then lift the knee and foot on the same plane as you draw the right heel in toward your navel, keeping the knee and foot at the same level the entire time. If the heel reaches the navel without any strain felt at the knee whatsoever, fold the right foot into the left hip crease and reach the right arm behind the back to grab hold of the big toe with the first two fingers and thumb. If the foot will not lift up into the hip crease but rather is resting against the upper thigh, DO NOT PROCEED.

If your half-lotus is comfortable and you have taken hold of the big toe with your right hand, fold forward on an exhalation and plant the left hand down with the fingertips in line with the left toes. Exercise caution as you fold by taking a microbend in the standing knee to prevent hyper-extension. Keep your standing leg steady and strong and press forward and down into the left palm to deepen your fold as you draw nose to knee. Spend at least five deep breaths here, moving into the fold with every exhalation. To exit the pose, inhale to a flat back. Stay for the exhale to firm the belly and steady the standing leg, then inhale the body to standing, maintaining your grasp on the bound foot the whole way to encourage even greater opening of the hip and thigh. Gently release your grasp and stand firm on two legs with the arms at your sides. Repeat the posture on the opposite side for the same number of breaths.

MODIFICATION:
If the above steps cause any discomfort in the knees whatsoever, cross the right ankle over the left thigh instead of taking the half-lotus position. Take a soft bend in the standing knee and press the right knee open to achieve a stretch in the hip. Be sure to activate the right foot by flexing the toes and press through the inner heel in order to protect the knee. From here, you may rest your left hand on the left thigh and then wrap the right hand behind the back to take hold of the opposite elbow or forearm. Keep both shoulders sliding down the back. Stay for five deep breaths, then switch to the other side.

Ujjayi Pranayama: making music on the mat

2011-08-23T12:25:00.003-05:00

In this age of yoga for fitness and weight loss, it's all too easy to forget that this practice, at it's core, is a breathing practice. The breath and mind are closely linked; the state of one is reflected in the other. In yoga, we exploit this relationship, taking control of the breath, as a means to gain greater control over the mind.

Though there are many types of pranayama, or breath control practices, the breath that we use in asana is called ujjayi pranayama, a Sanskrit term loosely translated to mean "victorious breath" or "conqueror breath." It is called so for many reasons, one being that in ujjayi, the breath is directed into the upper chest while the belly remains gently but firmly tucked with uddiyana bandha (navel lock), resulting in a proud or victorious posture.

The Dark Lord

Perhaps the most distinctive characteristic of ujjayi pranayama is the sound this breath produces. It has been likened to the waves of the ocean, the roar of a steam engine, or to the mechanistic hiss of Darth Vader. This aspirant sound is a meditation aid, used to drown out external stimuli and turn the yogi's attention to the internal world of the practice. It has been said that the breath is the instrument of the yogi. With ujjayi pranayama, we tune and refine the breath until the sound and rhythm of both the inhalations and exhalations are steady, slow, and resonant.

While it may take many months or even years to develop an even and sustainable practice of ujjayi breathing, it is an extremely important element of the asana practice. Ujjayi not only assists the practitioner's mental focus, but also slows and extends the breath. In a Vinyasa practice, in which the breath and movement are closely linked, long slow inhalations and exhalations allow the practitioner to move more slowly and with more control through the postures, building even more strength and heat in the body.

Ujjayi pranayama is initiated by the bandhas and regulated by a slight constriction of the glottis. This constriction narrows the airway of the throat which slows the breath and creates friction, producing internal heat, or tapas, which we use to burn through destructive patterns of behavior in both body and mind. When first developing your ujjayi pranayama, it can be useful to imagine that you are in fact breathing from the throat itself, as if there were a tiny hole in the throat through which to suck and blow air. Concentrate on on the sensation of the breath swirling in the throat and the sound of the breath resonating against the upper palate as you slowly and steadily drink the breath in and then slowly and guardedly pour it back out.

Continue to tune your instrument until the inhalations and exhalations carry the same lovely tone. Do not be discouraged if you at first experience tension in the throat or have trouble sounding the inhalations. Start by sounding the exhalations only, and the inhalations will come.

The Express Kundalini

2011-08-22T10:35:00.005-05:00

I am so glad to be back in the swing of things again. Saturday, I taught my first class in almost two weeks, and yesterday, I managed my first Ashtanga practice since the biopsy. Because of the placement of the incisions and the consequent swelling, I have not been able to do any deep forward bends or backbends, so my practice has been an odd mix of side bends, wide-legged folds, and twists. Yesterday, I finally felt ready to return to Ashtanga.

Primary felt just like home. Mid-way through the standing sequence, I was happier than a hipster in an Apple store. It might be a couple of weeks before I get my upper body strength back, but flexibility seems to have remained intact. I managed all postures well with just a couple of modifications and floated through the vinyasas without crashing, but I really felt it in the shoulders after practice. The only thing left out were the drop backs. My right shoulder felt tweaked in Urdhva Dhanurasana, and while my body craves those dynamic backbends, I'd better not push it just yet.

After practice, I went downtown to teach a couple of classes. It was so wonderful to see all those shining faces again and to feel the high-octane energy of that room. After class, a couple of students were talking about the Kundalini classes we offer. When I mentioned that I didn't know anything about it because I'd never done Kundalini, they heartily recommended that I give it a try. And since the next class on the schedule was none other than Candle Kundalini, I did exactly that.

It was great! No one could be more surprised than I at how much I enjoyed the Kundalini experience. The class was a lovely mix of chanting, dynamic asana, and meditation. While I was pleasantly surprised at the physical intensity of the practice, I particularly appreciated the opportunity to use my voice in a different way. I don't often share this with people because there is a tendency to ask me to "sing something" on the spot, but since you, my darling readers, cannot do that, I'll share this with you: I used to sing quite a lot -- took professional lessons for years, dabbled in musical theater and vocal performance, even went to school on a music scholarship for voice -- but for painful and complicated reasons, I don't often sing anymore. For this reason, all the chanting and singing and unabashed OMing was very powerful and healing. I felt again the strong vibrations of my own voice rattling my inner body and it felt very, very good.

It's definitely not a practice to replace the Ashtanga, but will I do it again? You know, I think I just might.

Amazing video!

2011-08-20T21:43:00.002-05:00

Watch it twice. First for the awe, then again for the art.

The Good Life

2011-08-18T21:18:00.010-05:00

Must... resist... CHEESECAKE!

This afternoon, I did my first Downward Facing Dog since the biopsy. It felt so good that I think I heard a million tiny angels singing hallelujah. Every little vertebrae in my thoracic spine gave a lovely crack. My chest, shoulders, hamstrings, and calves simply screamed in unadulterated joy.

While these past few weeks of uncertainty have been difficult, so many wonderful repercussions are emerging that I continue to bask in the blessings, among them a rekindled enthusiasm for meditation and pranayam. My physical activity has been pretty limited for the past ten days to allow the incisions to heal, so pranayama and meditation have become my primary practice.

It's been nice. I admit that my pranayama and seated meditation have been irregular this season. What with school and work, I've barely had time for the asana alone, so meditation and pranayama has been happening once or twice a week instead of once or twice a day. Now that the summer semester is over, I should have plenty of time to tend to the seated practices with more consistency.

Surprisingly, I have thoroughly enjoyed this break from the asana practice. I thought I might get anxious without my physical outlet, but the meditation and pranayama has been more than enough. Plus, I've had time to explore some other, perhaps neglected, areas of my life more deeply. And, of course, to redesign the blog. But all of this sitting, core-supported as it may be, has come with the addition of a few extra pounds. I've been eating like a queen all week because every day feels like a celebration. I see food and I say (sometimes aloud), "Why not?! Life is short. I deserve it. Live and enjoy!"

It all started on my birthday, when I couldn't decide between carrot cake -- always a classic -- or decadent strawberry-white chocolate cheesecake. So I got both. Now it's escalated to nearly constant munching. Under normal circumstances, when I'm doing my practice and teaching two or three classes a day, the munching isn't a problem. But it'll be a while before I'm back up to full speed with the asana (goodbye, heels in Kapo...) so I better get the eating under control before I do something I'll regret, like eat another piece of cheesecake. Ever. So delicious in my mouth, but so, so wrong in my belly.

Asana of the Week: Savasana

2011-08-17T16:04:00.004-05:00

This week, we'll look at Savasana (Corpse Pose), sometimes called Mrtasana (Death Pose) or less morbidly, the "Sponge." This pose, in which the practitioner lies on his or her back, legs and arms open enough to allow air and energy to flow, is the final pose of the asana practice. It is a resting pose, to be sure, but it is not without it's challenges.

Savasana is a continuation of the meditation. The purpose here is to relax -- to surrender control of body and breath -- without losing the awareness cultivated through the asana or pranayama practice. This is much more difficult than it sounds.

BKS Iyengar has written of this pose that "the stresses of modern life are a strain on the nerves, for which Savasana is the best antidote." Savasana not only removes fatigue from the body but, when practiced with intention, quiets the mind and strengthens the practitioner's ability to enter a relaxed, meditative state. This, in turn, heightens one's ability to function in an environment of total assault on the senses, something that many of us face on a daily basis whether we realize it or not. (Forget battle or natural disasters, have you been to a mall lately?)

I find that consistent practice of Savasana for at least a few minutes a day adds significant depth and perspective to my practice, as a whole. While the idea of death as relief may be an uncomfortable subject for some, it is important to remember that Savasana is the reward, the moment of transition. While it is tempting to skip the final posture and get on with your day after practice, to forgo rest or allow the mind to wander is to relinquish the fruits of your labor. So why not stay a while and enjoy?

The Impetus and Yoga: It's enough

2011-08-15T13:55:00.013-05:00

I've spent the better part of the past three weeks in careful observation, watching my reactions to all the twists and turns, fascinated at the force behind them. In doing so, I think I've come away with some important realizations, the first and most important being that I am already happy. My life is already complete.

At twenty-six, I have been a seeker of knowledge. I have followed my passions. I have had a good love and I have touched a few lives for the better. I can hardly conceive of anything more. When the possibility that the "rest of my life" could be a short stint became exponentially more likely, there was nothing I felt rushed to do. No big apologies so far left unsaid. Nothing to create or accomplish.

I have also learned that to meditate on the moment of death is to experience bliss. I think it may be the key to liberation, to hold a glimmer of anticipation for that final exhalation. The long Savasana. The better the practice, the better the rest, am I right? Such a useful tool is this yoga practice, a convenient microcosm of the possibilities of life.

Perhaps the most ironic and indeed the most practical of the realizations I've come away with is how physically healthy I am because of the yoga. Keep in mind that I do not do "cardio" of any kind, nor do I lift weights (though, as I've mentioned, I do pull-ups and push-ups semi-regularly to protect my shoulders). I also eat a ton of cheese and have a drink or two nearly every night. (Note: "1 or 2" in this case is not a euphemism for 8 or 10, as seems to be the custom).

Through the many medical tests and scans, it was revealed again and again that all systems are running strong. I was asked by the blood tech, who said she had rarely seen such good cholesterol numbers, if I "work out a lot." The surgical nurse asked me after the biopsy if I am a runner because of my slow and steady pulse throughout the operation. My chest x-ray revealed that I have larger lungs than the average female of my size (truthfully, I don't know if that is reflective of my pranayama practice or if it's even related to lung capacity, but I thought it interesting).

It is sometimes questioned whether or not yoga -- for our purposes, this includes asana, pranayama, and meditation -- is enough to bring health to the body. Based on what I've learned from this ordeal, I would have to say that it is. I'm so glad, because now I can finally get rid of those running shoes that I never wear but keep stashed away for fear that I may, one day, need to lace them up again. Good riddance.

Finally

2011-08-11T14:05:00.006-05:00

This morning, I was sitting here at my desk, mid-way through a post about the biopsy and the healing process and how it was unlikely that I'd hear from my doctor before Friday, when my phone rang. It was my doctor. You know what he said?

IT'S NOT CANCER! I'M CANCER-FREE!! BENIGN, BABY!!!!

HELL to the YES! Thank you thank you thank you! Praise be to the highest! OM shanti shanti shanti!

What a ride this has been! The truth is gradually sinking in. I feel as though I'm stepping sheepishly from behind a black curtain, re-emerging in the light. I had become so used to the idea that the my life was about to take a hard turn that it is difficult now to conceive of any other possibility. I am giddy with relief but still on guard, not yet entirely convinced that the danger has passed.

Apparently, the blue ink from my rather large tattoo had been collected by the white blood cells in my body and distributed throughout my lymph system, causing the nodes to swell. The doctor said both of the lymph nodes he extracted, one from the armpit and one from the groin, were the same lovely azure. It's a bizarre case. This is only the second time he's seen anything like it. A rarity, isn't that fun?

I will celebrate my 26th birthday this weekend and, though I will not be with my family because of my post-surgical state, it will be a happy occasion. Thank you all from the depths of my heart -- friends, readers, students, and family -- for your strength, compassion, and support throughout this fearsome affair.

And now... let the adventures continue!

Just One Breath

2011-08-05T17:14:00.002-05:00

"That is inhalation."

Staying Power

2011-08-03T13:18:00.007-05:00

I once walked into a cold, white waiting room that smelled of burning coffee and observed that the reading materials scattered on the plastic seats consisted almost entirely of full-length novels. It became immediately clear that I was in for a long sit.

I'm still waiting. Still shut off from my future and simmering in the past. Nothing more has been revealed, though the days plug on ever closer to the dreaded truth. What I had hoped would be a hurried process has become a long and painful dredge. I have seen the oncologist. The biopsy is not until next week, and the wait for the results will be another 3 or 4 days. It was just a week ago today that I was first presented with the question of cancer, and I'm not even halfway to the answer. This has truly been the longest week of my life. Every day is an eternity.

So this is what it's like to inhabit the present.

I am keeping with my practice, though the practice is a whole new animal in the present context. Every breath, every moment is vivid and unique. It is terrible and wonderful. Torturous and glorious. Like a climax gone on for too long, everything inside me trembles and I long for rest, but cannot turn away. The practice has been essential to my steadiness of mind as these convulsions have taken hold.

Monday, I had one of the most beautiful and effortless Ashtanga practices that I can recall. So quiet and light. Then yesterday, after my appointment and a long day of making arrangements for the biopsy, it seemed as though Ashtanga might completely fry my nerves, so I opted for an alternative practice instead.

I got out the timer. I stayed. Twenty minutes in Virasana, four minutes in Plank, five minutes in Downward Dog, and five minutes in Virabhadrasana II with a one-minute Chaturanga after each side. Then three minutes in Paschimottanasana, followed by two 2-minute holds in Urdhva Dhanurasana. And finally, six minutes in Sirsasana before Ananda Balasana and a nice long Savasana.

This was an incredible experience. I have used a timer with certain postures before, but never constructed an entire practice from timed holds. It made me feel so solid, so dense, like every step could cause an earthquake. My whole body was alive as a single piece of work, invulnerable. It's certainly not an every day practice, but it gave me quite the energetic charge.

It has been such an advantage during these hard days to have an arsenal of asana, a knowledge of the practice, and a nimble mind to apply these things in a way that serves me in the moment. It is empowering to know that peace is not merely at the mercy of my circumstance. For this, I am grateful.

Primary Friday: atha yoga anushasanam

2011-07-29T22:24:00.012-05:00

Now, after having done prior preparation through life and other practices, the study and practice of Yoga begins. -- Yoga Sutra I.1

Now the real practice has begun. Can I continue to breathe? Can I observe the unfolding of the days with a steady, even mind? Can I hang on with conviction to that which I love, but also be prepared to gracefully let go? This is what my practice has become.

Of course, that's not to say I've given up the asana. Quite the contrary, today I did my full Primary, just as I do every Friday. I had a strong practice. Deep, steady postures. Deep, steady breath. The practice, as it has a way of doing, knocked me out of my frightened stupor and gave me the strength to go out and take care of some errands, to face the world without crumbling to a shaky, sobbing mess.

After running my errands, I retreated hurriedly to my home, only to find that I didn't know what to do with myself. My apartment was clean. My errands and asana were finished. My dog was fed and walked. Nothing to do but sit around and wait, which wouldn't do at all. I don't know how I'm going to keep myself grounded until Tuesday when the proverbial ball gets rolling, but I have an idea:

Yoga. Lots of it. When I found myself this afternoon with little left to do but wait and worry, I packed up my mat and towel and drove myself to the studio, fighting tears all the way. I took a class. It was strong and slow, full of long holds and hip openers. Exactly what I needed. I left that class feeling one hundred times better than when I had arrived. Rooted, balanced, and ready for whatever the coming week may bring.

The Waiting Game

2011-07-28T20:16:00.010-05:00

Monday morning, I decided to have some blood work done because I've had some odd swelling and soreness in my chest and neck. I haven't been to a doctor in years, apart from my annual lady exams, so I figured I'd shell in for the works and get everything tested and measured, just to be sure. Well, the results came back on Tuesday. They looked great. According to the test results, I'm fantastically healthy. So much so, in fact, that the technician who called me with the results asked if I "work out a lot." Now, I get that question fairly often in person, but never before over the phone.

I was very relieved and figured I wouldn't need to take any steps further, but the technician also expressed curiosity as to why I wanted to have the tests done. When I told her my concerns, she recommended that I see a physician anyway, just to be sure.

I did. And I received some horrifying news. The word "cancer" was uttered. More tests are under way. A biopsy scheduled for Tuesday, and meanwhile, my entire life is suspended in the balance. Waiting. Waiting for Tuesday morning to roll around. Waiting for the doctor's word. Waiting for the results of the biopsy. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

And wondering. Wondering how it's possible that I could feel so healthy yet be so unwell. Wondering how my body can be functioning at the level it is and be battling something so dangerous. Wondering if it's possible that the practice itself has kept me well enough to prevent me from recognizing the signs of illness until now. As difficult as this may be to swallow, athletes and yogis are not immune to disease. Look at Lance Armstrong, or Derek Ireland. Or, more close to home for me, an Ashtanga teacher here in Austin whose amazing practice I have admired from a distance. They all got it. Now I might have it, too.

So, you might be wondering what I've been doing to cope with the uncertainty. I've been doing my practice, breathing every breath like it could be my last. And teaching, with so much love for my students bubbling to the surface that I can barely contain myself. I want to do everything that I can to secure the practice in their lives because, in the midst of this nightmare, it's the only thing that has been a comfort to me. It's the only thing in life that I feel has prepared me for moments like these.

Monday Milestones

2011-07-26T14:47:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a long day. I taught five classes all told -- the earliest at 6am and the latest at nearly 9pm -- and, somehow, I managed to keep a medical appointment in the morning (nothing serious, just blood work. Interesting results, though. Thinking about doing a post on it...) and do my full practice in the afternoon.

I wasn't expecting much from my practice. I was just glad to have found the time and grateful for the opportunity to withdraw after teaching all day. Teaching yoga is such an energy intensive experience in a very reciprocal way to the practice itself. In my personal practice, I withdraw from the external and journey deeply inward. In my teaching, I project myself in nearly every way that I can: my voice, my energy, my awareness. I feel as though I must be everywhere at once, and somehow, sometimes, I feel as though I am. Teaching used to exhaust me, mentally and emotionally, but lately I'm leaving class feeling all abuzz with the vibrations still resonating off the proverbial walls.

It may have been the echoes of that energy that fueled me through practice yesterday, which was surprisingly pleasant and deep, all things considered. The big surprise was the depth of the twists. I bound Marichyasa C at the wrist on both sides for the first time. I never even consider going for the wrist in this pose without assistance, but yesterday I just felt so loose that I crawled my fingers up the opposite hand and grabbed the wrist rather comfortably. To that effect, I also got a good, solid four-finger clasp on both sides in Pasasana, which doesn't happen often.

The first part of Primary flew by and before I knew it I was at Navasana. I landed a nice jump into Bhujapidasana and lowered down. As I tried to press up, I found that I was completely stuck. There was no going anywhere. I kept trying and failing, bouncing my chin on the mat until it became clear that I would need to abort. I tucked my chin and rolled out, somehow hitting the left side of my face on the hard floor. I chuckled, checked the swelling in the mirror, and tried again. Second try was a success, but there is definitely a threshold in that maneuver where it feels, for a second, like an impossibility but if you push against it, you make it through. It has something to do with the legs, I suspect.

Intermediate backbends were good. I indulged in the Ardha Bhekasana prep on each side before going for the full pose, which I don't technically need to do to get into Bhekasana, but I could use the extra length in the quadriceps for the health of my knees. Kapo sensation was strong, to put it mildly. I considered bailing for a split second as I began my descent to the floor, but breathed through it and found my way into a nice expression of the pose. It was so nice, in fact, that I decided to give it another try and make a grab for the heels. They torment me. I'm so close, but it takes me so long to get there that I feel like I'm working against the clock. How long can I stay in Kapo without combusting, I ask you?

I didn't quite get the heels, but I came closer than ever before. I kept Eka Pada on the first side with no hands for the five full breaths, which I believe to be another milestone. I had to hold the leg for the fold, but that's no surprise. Left side was not as deep and doesn't seem to be opening up a whole lot with practice, a least for now. I'm sure it will.

Drop backs were reminiscent of my Kapo experience. Very strong sensation, particularly in the right mid-low back. I'm also beginning to experience a very strange, almost elastic sensation in the front body as I lift out of Kapo or stand from Urdhva Dhanurasana. It's deep and quite delightful. It took me a while to open up enough in the drop backs to go up and down with the breath, but I managed a nice round of three sequential drops and stands after 3 or 4 slow, savory drop backs to warm up. I've also been doing a final backbend in which I walk the hands in as far as I can and stay for five breaths. This has always been something I did only when practicing with a teacher, for whatever reason, but lately I've brought it into my home pratice and, yesterday, I stood from the final backbend without rocking or walking the hands out at all. Another first for me without assistance.

All in all, it was a really great practice. I'm about to step on the mat again and I am still feeling the backbends from yesterday. I wonder what that means for my practice today.

Primary Friday: Interesting Times

2011-07-22T23:59:00.002-05:00

Hooray for Friday! After another ridiculously full week, I got to sleep late, chill at home all morning, then do a nice Primary practice with all the fixins. And tomorrow's a rest day! Weekends are the best.

I'm having a notably more difficult time getting myself on the mat these days. I've been so busy with teaching, academics, and asana that I haven't had any time to keep up with my yoga study. Pursuit of the theory of the practice has often been a great source of motivation for my asana practice. When I feel uninspired, I pick up one of Maehle's or Iyengar's books, or just grab at random from the stack, flip open to a page, and start reading. It works without fail. But it's time consuming, and that's time I don't have.

I'm definitely in something of a downswing. I feel clogged. I'm lethargic, noticeably more irritated by insignificant bothers, and my sweat smells especially bad. I wake nearly every morning to sore shoulders and I can barely think until I've had a cup of coffee. My right glutes are seizing up like there's a golf ball wedged in there. Interestingly, however, in the midst of this apparent downturn my teaching has been rather inspired. I am loving what's happening in my classes. I'm feeling bolder, more sensitive and improvisational. Students seem to be loving it, too. I look forward to every class.

But like I said, my practice has been a different story. It's hard to face, but once I get my body moving, my mind settles on the breath and everything falls into place. That first vinyasa -- arms up, palms touch -- always feel so damn good.

This afternoon was no exception to this trend. I had a tough time getting started, but had a great practice. Ten slow Surya's. Richness of sensation in the standing sequence which perfectly primed me for the first stretch of seated. Lotus postures were free and open. Twists were deep, jumps were light. I tweaked my jump back by setting the hands an inch or two further back in relationship to my hips for the lift up. Somehow, it made the whole process of the jump back easier, less of a muscular effort and more of a gravity play. I'll be exploring the effects of this more.

Something is lighting up in my right psoas in some of the wide-legged forward folds, namely the Prasaritas and Supta Konasana. It's an electric, traveling sort of sensation that comes on fast and fades after a few breaths with a slight external rotation of the thigh bone.

Backbends have been awesome these past few days, not just in depth but in sensation. I have felt a profound opening in the front body, in the abdomen and left upper chest, and an energetic rush deep in the belly when I exit the pose and reclaim the space. My shoulders are opening up to a new range of motion in the backbends and bound postures, despite the soreness and stiffness I feel in the mornings. It's an interesting time for my practice.

Asana of the Week: Dandasana

2011-07-22T11:01:00.003-05:00

Dandasana (Staff Pose) is a deceptively simple-looking asana which functions similarly to Tadasana as a way of checking in and centering between seated postures. I like to use this posture with my students as an example of how it is the practioner's responsibility to activate the asana: you can sit on the floor with the legs soft and the body mostly upright and sort of be in the pose, or you can activate and extend in every direction, be present and breathing fully in the state of the asana. It's your choice to do the work. The postures won't do it for you.

Dandasana has the potential to illuminate several key actions in the body essential for deepening the practice of more complex postures. The conscious contraction of the thighs without the help of weight-bearing necessity develops greater control and awareness of the musculature. The action of the arms pressing into the floor lights up the serratus anterior which are important stabilizers of the scapula in arm-supported postures such as Adho Muka Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog) or Chaturanga. The extension of the spine coupled with flexion at the hip reveals tension in the legs and lower back and clearly illuminates the converse relationship between spinal extension and hamstring tension.

This pose may also shed some light on the proportional relationship of the length of the arms versus the torso. Neutral proportions will allow one to plant the hands flat beside the hips with the arms straight and strong without lifting weight out of the sitting bones. Those with proportionally short arms may need to come onto the fingertips, while those with lanky limbs will need to set the hands behind the hips and perhaps bend the elbows to find the appropriate action of the shoulders and spinal extensors.

Ashtangis and those Vinyasa flow yogis among you who are working on jumping through to seated may find it helpful to practice this pose as a way of assessing the suitability of the body for such maneuvers. Those with neutral or long-limbed proportions can rest assured that the jump through will be possible for you with practice. However, if you find that you cannot press the hands flat beside your hips with the arms straight and the spine long, you may need to come to terms with the fact that a pair of blocks can be your friend. No amount of practice will change the proportions of your body. That's a fact, so use the opportunity to practice acceptance and buy yourself a good pair of blocks to set beside your mat.

More of the Same

2011-07-19T15:00:00.002-05:00

Cranes (detail) by Ogata Korin, Edo Period c. 1700, Freer Gallery of Art, Smithsonian

It's been difficult keeping up with the blog lately. I feel so very busy, but when I step back to analyze the situation, I can't seem to pinpoint what exactly is occupying so much of my time. I suppose it's a combination of things: the summer school schedule is heftier than I had anticipated it would be, there have been lots of extra teaching opportunities thrown my way, and my practice has recently expanded to Yoganidrasana, so I'm spending at least two hours a day on my mat.

With practice being this long, I haven't had the time to do it in the mornings. As much as I enjoy the freshness of early practice, when I do practice in the morning, I feel rushed. I have to omit some of the more detailed work that I enjoy and cut the finishing backbends short, which I really hate to do. Sunday is my busiest day of the week and I have no choice but to practice in the morning because, by the time I get home in the late afternoon, I'm too tired and hungry to even think about it. I only ever have two hours TOPS to practice, often less, so I end up abbreviating somehow. For example, this week I had to drop two Suryas and head into Intermediate from Navasana.

Afternoons, I tend to have larger chunks of time at my disposal, so I can spend hours uninterrupted on my mat without feeling hurried or guilty. Yesterday, after a morning of blasting tunes and cleaning out my closet, I milked that time for all it was worth with all ten Suryas (I usually do eight. Six if I'm in a hurry, but always ten on Fridays with Primary. You wanted to know all of that, right?). I decided to do all of Primary rather than split it at Supta Kurmasana, then I went on a tripod headstand tangent after Prasarita Padottanasana A, took an extra attempt at Kapo, indulged in a few prep poses for the LBH set, and capped it all off with extra drop backs plus a final backbend which brought my hands mere inches from heels. All told, I was on the mat for 2 glorious hours and 30 amazing minutes.

It was a gritty but beautiful practice, clearing out the rust and pangs. Trikonasana on the second side is getting harder every day. Something keeps knotting up my right side hip and Trikonasana, a rather unassuming little pose, is making me see stars. I've been staying for an extra breath or two on the second side to breath into that scary business.

My body felt like a ton of bricks in the jump backs, but everything else was good and deep. I've been working on my lotus jump back this week, playing with some tricks David and Shelley shared with us during the Intermediate workshop last month. It's coming along, though I still have to break it down into steps. First, I swing the legs through the arms by momentarily opening the elbows, then the knees come down and I reset my hands further forward and lean into a Chaturanga position as I lift the legs, unravel, and shoot them back. Maybe I'll make a video of that for you. Any interest? I was so glad to be given a plan of action for the eventual lotus jump back. Prior to this method, I had little inkling of where to begin. Now, at least I feel proactive working on the elements instead of just skipping it and waiting for "someday."

My hips were open and, surprisingly, the Intermediate backbends were very good. I found considerably more depth in Dhanurasana and Parsva Dhanurasana accessing the internal abdominal obliques. This new depth got me excited for Kapo, so I gave it an extra shot to try and finally get my hands to heels. I did manage to fondle my ankles and got a finger around my right heel, but couldn't seal the deal. So, so close. Any day now, it's happening. Any day.

And then what? You might ask. Well, just more of the same. But that's part of the beauty. With this practice, I can be confident that I will never run out of challenges. There will never be a pose or vinyasa I can't yet do, certainly not by the time it becomes necessary to relinquish the postures I've been given. It's a lifelong practice, indeed.

Primary with a broken leg!

2011-07-16T10:09:00.003-05:00

Ever wondered how you'd maintain your practice with a broken limb? I have. This man is keeping his practice afloat through a broken femur with creativity and determination. Love it!

(Thanks to Skippetty for the original posting!)